... is very little, except free time PLANNED, to be with my son.
Chilled time in the mornings. Getting up s l o w l y !!
To the park: to kick a ball, to cycle, run, laugh, celebrate goals scored and saves made. New distances travelled in the bike. Seeing friends. Reading. Homework. Birthdays. Church.
I love being a dad. Trying to let Ned make more decisions for himself. Learning ... gradually... both of us. Sometimes he doesn't want to think, just let me choose... what to wear... to eat... etc.
If Ned can get used to making choices now in the little things, making mistakes and working through them, then he should be better equipped for the bigger stuff that comes with adolescence.
Praying for him cos I find it scary. Ned, I think, is cool !!
Have a great weekend, whatever you do.
Love is a drug - be a dealer then an addict :o)
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
"Underneath the arches...
...I dream my dreams away"
Summons up memories for me - particularly of John Le Carre's "A Perfect Spy". Bud Flanagan tugging at the heart strings, leading us to remember days gone by?
Pip took us on an amazing journey this morning. We heard and told each others stories from around the time we were 7 years old.
Such a privilege to hear tales from Chile to Nigeria, Southall to Harrow. All so different. All so unique and special. Many memories shared. It was an emotional time.
I realise now that I have, in a way, read a chapter of autobiographies that will never be written - yet could be bestsellers... for they are... memories... real, not fiction. Today was, in a small way, life-changing.
Summons up memories for me - particularly of John Le Carre's "A Perfect Spy". Bud Flanagan tugging at the heart strings, leading us to remember days gone by?
Pip took us on an amazing journey this morning. We heard and told each others stories from around the time we were 7 years old.
Such a privilege to hear tales from Chile to Nigeria, Southall to Harrow. All so different. All so unique and special. Many memories shared. It was an emotional time.
I realise now that I have, in a way, read a chapter of autobiographies that will never be written - yet could be bestsellers... for they are... memories... real, not fiction. Today was, in a small way, life-changing.
Highbury Match Report
Received today from the sponsors - I was in the white team:
Barc1ays Highbury experience
Introduced by Bob Wilson as “two of the most terrifying team managers” Sammy Nelson (blue) & Charlie George (white) led their teams into one of the last ever football battles to be played at Highbury.
With the Highbury pitch calling, the teams ran out to begin their warm ups. While the whites began their well organised drills (by luck of the draw) a more youthful looking blue side passed the ball around the park.
This youthful strength showed in the fourth minute with the blue’s centre forward pouncing on a defensive error by the whites to chalk up the first goal of the game.
The lead was extended shortly after as Danny Houghton rounded the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net.
The whites struck back with some intricate passing across the middle of the park but couldn’t make it count in the final third.
The blues pressed hard, using the wings well, Shaun el-Alwal going down the right and putting in a cross for Gary Edwards to nod home, only for the effort to be ruled offside.
The whites fought on and some nice passing put the centre forward (Me!) through one on one with the keeper. ‘Almunia’ in goal had a ‘Lehman esc’ rush of blood to the head, raced out and brought the striker down outside the box.
The ref showed a football sense that some UEFA officials could learn from and didn’t send the keeper from the pitch. John Fisher stepped up to take the subsequent free kick and a great effort was only denied by the cross bar.
A third goal from the blues came soon after as el-Alwal broke once again beating his man and delivering a ball to the far post for Houghton to score his second.
The second half picked up where the first ended, with the blues once again pressing and several chances went begging.
Daniel Haigh showed some fine individual skill for the whites beating a number of players on several occasions but the team couldn’t convert any of their chances.
Searching for a goal left the team in white short at the back and a fine back, heel from Sutton, put King in space to thunder in a forth for the Blues.
Some determined defending, confident keeping and the woodwork kept the score line to 4-0 at full time
Match two report omitted - blues won on penalties.
POST MATCH interviews
Commenting on his blue team’s two match win Sammy Nelson said “I only had them for five minutes imagine what I could have done if I’d had ten!”
“Played two, lost two, that’s why I never went into management” was Charlie George’s response to the performance of his side.
Barc1ays Highbury experience
Introduced by Bob Wilson as “two of the most terrifying team managers” Sammy Nelson (blue) & Charlie George (white) led their teams into one of the last ever football battles to be played at Highbury.
With the Highbury pitch calling, the teams ran out to begin their warm ups. While the whites began their well organised drills (by luck of the draw) a more youthful looking blue side passed the ball around the park.
This youthful strength showed in the fourth minute with the blue’s centre forward pouncing on a defensive error by the whites to chalk up the first goal of the game.
The lead was extended shortly after as Danny Houghton rounded the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net.
The whites struck back with some intricate passing across the middle of the park but couldn’t make it count in the final third.
The blues pressed hard, using the wings well, Shaun el-Alwal going down the right and putting in a cross for Gary Edwards to nod home, only for the effort to be ruled offside.
The whites fought on and some nice passing put the centre forward (Me!) through one on one with the keeper. ‘Almunia’ in goal had a ‘Lehman esc’ rush of blood to the head, raced out and brought the striker down outside the box.
The ref showed a football sense that some UEFA officials could learn from and didn’t send the keeper from the pitch. John Fisher stepped up to take the subsequent free kick and a great effort was only denied by the cross bar.
A third goal from the blues came soon after as el-Alwal broke once again beating his man and delivering a ball to the far post for Houghton to score his second.
The second half picked up where the first ended, with the blues once again pressing and several chances went begging.
Daniel Haigh showed some fine individual skill for the whites beating a number of players on several occasions but the team couldn’t convert any of their chances.
Searching for a goal left the team in white short at the back and a fine back, heel from Sutton, put King in space to thunder in a forth for the Blues.
Some determined defending, confident keeping and the woodwork kept the score line to 4-0 at full time
Match two report omitted - blues won on penalties.
POST MATCH interviews
Commenting on his blue team’s two match win Sammy Nelson said “I only had them for five minutes imagine what I could have done if I’d had ten!”
“Played two, lost two, that’s why I never went into management” was Charlie George’s response to the performance of his side.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
5 words, 2 songs, honesty and a carrot
One of my heroes is a man called Pip Wilson. Watched him strut his stuff in the Greenbelt venue 'Rolling Magazine' 20-25 years ago and now feel privileged to call him a friend.
We will be working together again tomorrow with a small group of people and I am looking forward to it. Have an idea to ask each person there to hold out their hands to receive two gifts. One will be a carrot which will be placed in their right palm. The other will not be given, nor even be there with us, nor will it ever be given. Can you guess what it is? Answers on a postcard, or just post a comment.....
Pip has a question he likes to ask - name five words to describe your life at the moment?
A couple of weeks ago we were having a beer and I selected these:
- pressing
- determined
- needy
- honest?
- still
Unfortunately, when Pip blogged them (http://www.pipwilson.com/) he omitted the question mark - unintentional I'm sure.
It changes the meaning considerably doesn't it. I was wondering if, when and how often I am really honest with myself. Still pondering that one...will get back to you.
Today:
- Honest?
- Tired
- Secure
- Unchallenged
- Uneasy
Meanwhile, Pip's friend Julie Benson has posed this one: (Hope I am not breaking any copyright here, Pip?) "What are two of the most beautiful songs you know?"
I think I will opt for: [1] Walk On - U2 [2] Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae (because it's current)
So, take your pick:
- five words
- two beautiful songs
- honest?
- what's the withheld present?
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
"Up the Arse"
I'm gonna get in trouble for that one, but it is used advisedly as I played at Arsenal (yes, Highbury, home of the Champions League Finalists) last week. This was due to an invite to a corporate event by Barclays who sponsor the Premiership.
There were two squads of 30 players who were split into smaller teams to each play a game of 40 minutes. The opposition manager was Irish international Sammy Nelson and mine the legendary Charlie George. Not that he looks like a footballer now, more like the hen-pecked husband from George and Mildred!
Anyway, the luck of the draw was that we had a team of total duffers and were stuffed 4-0 by a good side.
I didn't mind losing but it was disappointing that, with a minute to go, the Ref gave offside when I was 'sprinting' onto a through ball with only the keeper to beat and a consolation goal. The said goalie had fouled me in the same position in the first half but stayed on the pitch (ironic eh Arsenal fans!) - the subsequent freekick struck the crossbar which would have levelled the scores - ah, funny old game ...
The evening was hosted by Bob (near-post) Wilson and it was great to be there, great fun and a shame that there were only a smattering of supporters not 38,000 to witness it !!
There were two squads of 30 players who were split into smaller teams to each play a game of 40 minutes. The opposition manager was Irish international Sammy Nelson and mine the legendary Charlie George. Not that he looks like a footballer now, more like the hen-pecked husband from George and Mildred!
Anyway, the luck of the draw was that we had a team of total duffers and were stuffed 4-0 by a good side.
I didn't mind losing but it was disappointing that, with a minute to go, the Ref gave offside when I was 'sprinting' onto a through ball with only the keeper to beat and a consolation goal. The said goalie had fouled me in the same position in the first half but stayed on the pitch (ironic eh Arsenal fans!) - the subsequent freekick struck the crossbar which would have levelled the scores - ah, funny old game ...
The evening was hosted by Bob (near-post) Wilson and it was great to be there, great fun and a shame that there were only a smattering of supporters not 38,000 to witness it !!
Convergence (starts with blood, sweat and tears?)
Hi Blog-fans
Sorry I have been away sooooooo long - about a month - I'm bad, I know. Hope to get back into the groove. Want to share this though…..
Sometimes need time away on my own though. Sometimes thoughts too random too blog. Sometimes stuff too confused in my mind to articulate. Sometimes nothing to say. Sometimes my stuff seems too intimate to share - even with you! Would leave me too vulnerable.
Travelled 500 miles this weekend. Saturday in Sheffield for a youth house party planning day. Wakefield overnight - dinner with my birth-mum and lovely walks at Cannon Hall and around a lake Sunday morning. Drove through a village called Haigh! Good to see her and catch up; to coach her in the delicacies of Thai food and also to meet again my half-brother and his wife. Don't feel entirely connected to 'mum' but our friendship is growing and heading in the right direction I think - making memories is right! ;o)
From there to Nottingham to see friends of 25 years and their grown up (nearly) children. Wonderful to see how the kids are 'turning' out with plans, dreams, gap-year intentions, exam concerns, Uni places, long hair, grunting, smells and smiles. I hope I am as special to them as they are to me, but probably not!! I can live with that. Time when they sat with me and we read a story are long gone - if they chose to sit on me now I could do little about it!!
Alistair and Julie themselves still set the world alight in their own understated way (apart from being fab parents).
Viewed Julie's art and loved it. Daring. Personal. Layered. Revealing. Challenging. Just beginning….
It reminded me that there is a stage in life called Convergence when our talents, gifts, passions, efforts all come together and we find ourselves starting to do what we were always meant to do. This is not to deny the earlier periods of learning and output, but felt a privilege to see Julie at this stage, assuming I am right, but no doubt the best is to come…
I am looking forward to that day for myself, though wonder whether we ever stop stretching?
Similarly, Alistair is taking a PHD in Leadership, which I find inspiring, especially to hear that a man as bright and experienced in his field as he is still reviewing his thinking and application in order to grow.
A lowlight was watching one of the worst (but therefore funniest) sci-fi films ever - A0N FLUX - rented by the 'kids'! The film starts with the premise that in 400 years time the man running the planet is called Trevor - belief was suspended from there on and I never quite recovered !!
From Nottingham drove to Oxford to collect Ned - lovely to see him after a long weekend and home late last night. Good news on the door step - passed my diploma in Leadership and Theology - two and a half years of blood, sweat and tears and doing just enough to get through !!! Haven't passed much in my life - I prefer to 'do' - so delighted.
If ok with you, I will do is post some news retrospectively to fill you in and give me some time to remember what I've been doing !!
Thanks for reading. Love ya, Dan x
Sorry I have been away sooooooo long - about a month - I'm bad, I know. Hope to get back into the groove. Want to share this though…..
Sometimes need time away on my own though. Sometimes thoughts too random too blog. Sometimes stuff too confused in my mind to articulate. Sometimes nothing to say. Sometimes my stuff seems too intimate to share - even with you! Would leave me too vulnerable.
Travelled 500 miles this weekend. Saturday in Sheffield for a youth house party planning day. Wakefield overnight - dinner with my birth-mum and lovely walks at Cannon Hall and around a lake Sunday morning. Drove through a village called Haigh! Good to see her and catch up; to coach her in the delicacies of Thai food and also to meet again my half-brother and his wife. Don't feel entirely connected to 'mum' but our friendship is growing and heading in the right direction I think - making memories is right! ;o)
From there to Nottingham to see friends of 25 years and their grown up (nearly) children. Wonderful to see how the kids are 'turning' out with plans, dreams, gap-year intentions, exam concerns, Uni places, long hair, grunting, smells and smiles. I hope I am as special to them as they are to me, but probably not!! I can live with that. Time when they sat with me and we read a story are long gone - if they chose to sit on me now I could do little about it!!
Alistair and Julie themselves still set the world alight in their own understated way (apart from being fab parents).
Viewed Julie's art and loved it. Daring. Personal. Layered. Revealing. Challenging. Just beginning….
It reminded me that there is a stage in life called Convergence when our talents, gifts, passions, efforts all come together and we find ourselves starting to do what we were always meant to do. This is not to deny the earlier periods of learning and output, but felt a privilege to see Julie at this stage, assuming I am right, but no doubt the best is to come…
I am looking forward to that day for myself, though wonder whether we ever stop stretching?
Similarly, Alistair is taking a PHD in Leadership, which I find inspiring, especially to hear that a man as bright and experienced in his field as he is still reviewing his thinking and application in order to grow.
A lowlight was watching one of the worst (but therefore funniest) sci-fi films ever - A0N FLUX - rented by the 'kids'! The film starts with the premise that in 400 years time the man running the planet is called Trevor - belief was suspended from there on and I never quite recovered !!
From Nottingham drove to Oxford to collect Ned - lovely to see him after a long weekend and home late last night. Good news on the door step - passed my diploma in Leadership and Theology - two and a half years of blood, sweat and tears and doing just enough to get through !!! Haven't passed much in my life - I prefer to 'do' - so delighted.
If ok with you, I will do is post some news retrospectively to fill you in and give me some time to remember what I've been doing !!
Thanks for reading. Love ya, Dan x
Friday, April 28, 2006
World Cup - The 'Rules' and advice
Just received this from Man of the World, Steve; this post is sub-titled (by me) Misogynists of the World Cup Unite!!
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
LIST OF 'RULES'
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.
In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO N OT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
LIST OF 'RULES'
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.
In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO N OT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
How green is my valley....
How busy is my week! Another week of my life gone and my absence from Blog world has been noted.
Busy you say? Indeed, went to Manchester on Saturday afternoon after a very strange Friday night. Played footie and actually scored a couple of crackers (first for a while!) and came home to chill out in front of Have I got news for you, Mel & Griff and then Eric Morecombe - laughed lots.
Bath and bed by midnight, but feeling really ill - nothing particularly. Slept 3 lovely hours then woke for no reason and dozed for an hour and a half. So got up at 4.30 and started making music compilations for the journey North!
Just as well, leaving at midday, I forgot that the FA Cup semi-final was at Old Trafford and spent ages on the M6 with Chelsea motorists. Ignored the very long queue for the direct route on the M56, kept going North, eventually looped back South on the clear ring road - bizarre.
Anyway, Saturday's party - joint birthday do for Helen and Melissa - only knew one person there before 5pm that day but had a lot of fun meeting friends and family - almost all in fancy dress! Have never seen so many superheroes in one venue! The Incredibles and Buzz Lightyear won the prizes. Duff Man stole the show, closely followed be He-Man and She-La !!!!
Sunday lunch spent in glorious sunshine outside the Slug and Lettuce in Didsbury laughing at the toilet escapades of Harry P0tter's wand - you had to be there !!!
Spinning lots of plates at work - had meetings yesterday at the GLA building on the South Bank and at Brentford FC concerning the Olympics and, funnily enough, football - the latter with the Chaplain from Manchester United FC - check out http://www.kicklondon.org.uk/
Last night I was DJ at a YMCA Cultural Evening featuring sets as follows: Polish dance ‘Krakowiak’; South Indian Classical Dance ‘Bharatanatyam’; American Hip-hop; Spanish Salsa workshop; Punjabi Bhangra Mix; plus traditional food from various countries, an African clothes fashion show and an International Auction.
Have to admit this is not usually my bag (unless I'm in the country at the time then I will actively explore the culture) but the evening was fab. Organised by our International Volunteer from the Ukraine. Proceeds will sponsor children from one of our projects to visit Kiev.
Broken news - still feeling on the up after last week. Conversations since all positive. Looks like the study won't happen until the autumn though?
May Day - Gonna be busy again this Bank Holiday weekend with a wedding, seeing friends; more daredevil cycling from Ned (I hope!), and some time to chill too.
Can I leave you with a thought? Questions first.....
How green is my valley.
Busy you say? Indeed, went to Manchester on Saturday afternoon after a very strange Friday night. Played footie and actually scored a couple of crackers (first for a while!) and came home to chill out in front of Have I got news for you, Mel & Griff and then Eric Morecombe - laughed lots.
Bath and bed by midnight, but feeling really ill - nothing particularly. Slept 3 lovely hours then woke for no reason and dozed for an hour and a half. So got up at 4.30 and started making music compilations for the journey North!
Just as well, leaving at midday, I forgot that the FA Cup semi-final was at Old Trafford and spent ages on the M6 with Chelsea motorists. Ignored the very long queue for the direct route on the M56, kept going North, eventually looped back South on the clear ring road - bizarre.
Anyway, Saturday's party - joint birthday do for Helen and Melissa - only knew one person there before 5pm that day but had a lot of fun meeting friends and family - almost all in fancy dress! Have never seen so many superheroes in one venue! The Incredibles and Buzz Lightyear won the prizes. Duff Man stole the show, closely followed be He-Man and She-La !!!!
Sunday lunch spent in glorious sunshine outside the Slug and Lettuce in Didsbury laughing at the toilet escapades of Harry P0tter's wand - you had to be there !!!
Spinning lots of plates at work - had meetings yesterday at the GLA building on the South Bank and at Brentford FC concerning the Olympics and, funnily enough, football - the latter with the Chaplain from Manchester United FC - check out http://www.kicklondon.org.uk/
Last night I was DJ at a YMCA Cultural Evening featuring sets as follows: Polish dance ‘Krakowiak’; South Indian Classical Dance ‘Bharatanatyam’; American Hip-hop; Spanish Salsa workshop; Punjabi Bhangra Mix; plus traditional food from various countries, an African clothes fashion show and an International Auction.
Have to admit this is not usually my bag (unless I'm in the country at the time then I will actively explore the culture) but the evening was fab. Organised by our International Volunteer from the Ukraine. Proceeds will sponsor children from one of our projects to visit Kiev.
Broken news - still feeling on the up after last week. Conversations since all positive. Looks like the study won't happen until the autumn though?
May Day - Gonna be busy again this Bank Holiday weekend with a wedding, seeing friends; more daredevil cycling from Ned (I hope!), and some time to chill too.
Can I leave you with a thought? Questions first.....
- What do you hope for?
- Are you suffering in any way?
- Do you need to keep going with something?
"Rejoice in hopeI have a hope; personal experience that prayer works, and my life is relatively free of suffering (though requiring patience!). Hope that's not a gloat, but I must say...
be patient in suffering
persevere in prayer! ... Romans 12:12 from the New Testament
How green is my valley.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Breaking news...
Making enquiries at the moment about registering for a Certificate in Communication and Counselling skills, the course being an introduction to counselling and psychotherapy.
This is primarily about attaining skills with sufficient theory (to underpin) to give an understanding of the three broad streams of psychotherapy: humanistic, cognitive-behavioural and psychodynamic. Will tell you what that all means when I find out !!!!
This feels like the right direction for me following on from my Leadership and Theology course, the personal therapy work I have been doing, the pastoral work I already undertake and, above all, God's calling on my life to use my soap-opera past (!) for the benefit of others. This seems to be affirmed by those I respect too.
This isn't a career change, yet. Though it is possible that this could lead to formal training and a qualification, I am not sure whether it is probable. One step at a time, eh!
The long weekend was great - lots of work, rest and play (as predicted). Ned learning to ride his bike without stablisers was great fun and we had a great time over 6 days seeing lots of friends, finishing the garden pergola, chilling out, and quality time to remember and celebrate Easter.
Only downside is that having stopped work I seem to have come down with a cold or something so not 100%. However, seeing my old mucker Bazzer tonight for a yarn. Will be talking until the proverbial cows come home!! Level 5 all the way, no doubt.
This is primarily about attaining skills with sufficient theory (to underpin) to give an understanding of the three broad streams of psychotherapy: humanistic, cognitive-behavioural and psychodynamic. Will tell you what that all means when I find out !!!!
This feels like the right direction for me following on from my Leadership and Theology course, the personal therapy work I have been doing, the pastoral work I already undertake and, above all, God's calling on my life to use my soap-opera past (!) for the benefit of others. This seems to be affirmed by those I respect too.
This isn't a career change, yet. Though it is possible that this could lead to formal training and a qualification, I am not sure whether it is probable. One step at a time, eh!
The long weekend was great - lots of work, rest and play (as predicted). Ned learning to ride his bike without stablisers was great fun and we had a great time over 6 days seeing lots of friends, finishing the garden pergola, chilling out, and quality time to remember and celebrate Easter.
Only downside is that having stopped work I seem to have come down with a cold or something so not 100%. However, seeing my old mucker Bazzer tonight for a yarn. Will be talking until the proverbial cows come home!! Level 5 all the way, no doubt.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
By his stripes
Well - what a gap since I lost blogged - 12 days - sorry blog fans.
Things have been just as hectic despite the fact that my course has finished, Dads + Lads too, and the talk I was going to give at a church is done and dusted. That went well - even had a round of applause - most embarrassing!!
Anyway it is a relief not to have those 3 locos coming down the tracks at me!
It was my birthday last Thursday - I was 30/11 :o)
Was out to dinner with Ned - had a rack of ribs - fab!
Ned (with some prompting from me) got his mum to fund a birthday present (for once), so I was expecting a picture frame or candle!
To my surprise the wrapped parcel was the C4 box set of the Ashes series last year. Yeeeee haaaaaa.
Ned was with mum at the weekend so I spent an a.m. delighting in:
Things have been just as hectic despite the fact that my course has finished, Dads + Lads too, and the talk I was going to give at a church is done and dusted. That went well - even had a round of applause - most embarrassing!!
Anyway it is a relief not to have those 3 locos coming down the tracks at me!
It was my birthday last Thursday - I was 30/11 :o)
Was out to dinner with Ned - had a rack of ribs - fab!
Ned (with some prompting from me) got his mum to fund a birthday present (for once), so I was expecting a picture frame or candle!
To my surprise the wrapped parcel was the C4 box set of the Ashes series last year. Yeeeee haaaaaa.
Ned was with mum at the weekend so I spent an a.m. delighting in:
- Simon Jones's reverse swing
- Freddie - the Aussie nightmare (what a player)
- Trescothick's class
- Vaughan's captaincy
- Pietersen's power with the bat (slippery fingers though)
- the Straus diving flying slip catch - unbelievable
- and the sheer joy of seeing sport played in such a good spirit (all bar Ponting's run out - keep running Ricky !!!).
Given I have been running Dads + Lads the last six Saturday mornings I figured I was owed a chill?
Saturday night I was out clubbing with friends - it was a good evening ... mostly ... a cool band playing live, called 'Bosh' or something like that.
Saw a girl in there - thought "Wow she's lovely". Had a fab smile.
However, I was too shy to go and say hello. Chicken. :o(
Kinda still thinking about her. I was disappointed with myself, but guess I was afraid (as ever) of rejection - for not being handsome nor witty enough, not smart enough, too old (!), too clumsy... inarticulate, lacking confidence.....
On the other hand, it was partly that everyone was dancing and she had a girl friend stuck to her like glue, so the opportunity was hard to spot - was also near the end of the evening but even then I would have had to shout at her to be heard !!! Tried to work out an opportunity but never happened and I couldn't quite see how to ... bugger.
'Ads' chatted to her for her a while (ignorant of my interest) but later remembered nothing about her except her leather strides - DOH!
Sunday night spent with T & T - roast chicken (hmmmm) and some gorgeous NZ wine. Boy, did we laugh at ... pretty much everything under the sun. The ground we covered in a 3 hours - phew!
Looking forward to Easter - special time. Got a couple of days off - Ned not away this holiday for once - so nice mix of work, rest and play.
Gonna watch the Passion of the Christ again with friends on Friday night - blows my mind. I hadn't really understood "by his stripes we are healed" until I watched the flogging scene. Harrowing is an understatement.
Praying for healing for myself - of the fear, doubt etc. described above.
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see
Like Neo (meaning new) I am "starting to believe" despite the evidence of Saturday night.
That one event does not define who I am.
I am more than that 'failure' and growing such that I do feel more confident in myself. Setbacks are ok, ne? We learn. We move forward. We stretch and, in doing, so we are stretched.
Some victories are greater even than the Ashes.
Some resurrections more amazing even than the England team.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Gotta run baby, run
Hey Guys,
Sorry I've been absent - sooooooo busy.
Saturday was the 5th of six Dads + Lads sessions. Great discussion, mostly with the boys, about boundaries and how they are a sign of a parents love - they knew it already - made me wonder why there are ever arguements! Thought about 'time outs' to cool off before coming back to talk through issues. A good principle I think, because especially as kids get older they need to feel that their point of view is heard and respected, even if the decision goes the 'against' them.
From there we took a trip to the RAF Museum at Hendon to admire aeroplanes from the early Hawkers to the Euro Fighter. We had a tour of the bombers by 86 year old Jumbo who had seen action with the Pathfinder Squadron. He spoke with a quiet command, humour and humility. How I respect his generation and the sacrifice made for our freedom.
So, not home until 3.30 pm for a short break, and then out to prepare for Mammas. This is an evening that this year sold out with 120 mums chauffered to our church turned restaurant for a three course Mexican meal prepared, cooked and served by men. A lot of wives came but single moms had tickets bought for them by the guys - cool.
I was Maitre D' to about 20 'staff' - mainly my mates - but what an effort to keep some of them in line!!! . A very successful evening, but I was exhausted by the time we got out of church at 1pm!
Had the final two exams of my course on Monday night then a celebratory curry afterwards. It has been a great trip with my friends over 2.5 years. We have all learnt and grown loads. Hard to quantify but definitely life changing stuff.
Preparing to speak at a church this Sunday morning - the subject is PASSION !!
Meanwhile, work busy but fun. Submitted a new idea today to buy a house boat for our homeless residents to use as move on accomodation - i.e. the final stage of support in helping young people onto independant living.
The YMCA owns a tower block and the Grand Union Canal runs adjacent to it. Gonna work with British Waterways and the lcal MP on this one. Fun eh!
Ok, gotta run - collect Ned and cook dinner... luv ya x
Sorry I've been absent - sooooooo busy.
Saturday was the 5th of six Dads + Lads sessions. Great discussion, mostly with the boys, about boundaries and how they are a sign of a parents love - they knew it already - made me wonder why there are ever arguements! Thought about 'time outs' to cool off before coming back to talk through issues. A good principle I think, because especially as kids get older they need to feel that their point of view is heard and respected, even if the decision goes the 'against' them.
From there we took a trip to the RAF Museum at Hendon to admire aeroplanes from the early Hawkers to the Euro Fighter. We had a tour of the bombers by 86 year old Jumbo who had seen action with the Pathfinder Squadron. He spoke with a quiet command, humour and humility. How I respect his generation and the sacrifice made for our freedom.
So, not home until 3.30 pm for a short break, and then out to prepare for Mammas. This is an evening that this year sold out with 120 mums chauffered to our church turned restaurant for a three course Mexican meal prepared, cooked and served by men. A lot of wives came but single moms had tickets bought for them by the guys - cool.
I was Maitre D' to about 20 'staff' - mainly my mates - but what an effort to keep some of them in line!!! . A very successful evening, but I was exhausted by the time we got out of church at 1pm!
Had the final two exams of my course on Monday night then a celebratory curry afterwards. It has been a great trip with my friends over 2.5 years. We have all learnt and grown loads. Hard to quantify but definitely life changing stuff.
Preparing to speak at a church this Sunday morning - the subject is PASSION !!
Meanwhile, work busy but fun. Submitted a new idea today to buy a house boat for our homeless residents to use as move on accomodation - i.e. the final stage of support in helping young people onto independant living.
The YMCA owns a tower block and the Grand Union Canal runs adjacent to it. Gonna work with British Waterways and the lcal MP on this one. Fun eh!
Ok, gotta run - collect Ned and cook dinner... luv ya x
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Grapple Fans & Bush Kangaroos
"And welcome Grapple Fans..." was the introduction (as far as I remember) to the wrestling on ITV's World of Sport, Saturday afternoons. My dad used to love it: Giant Haystacks, Big Daddy (real name Shirley something?), Rocco, Mick McManus and co including a hooded character I can't quite place?
Don't know why I thought of that, but these days we have WWF - I hate it. It is violent, false, demeaning and has nothing good about it. Grrrrrr.
Feeling positive right now (despite the rant above!!). Feel I am understanding myself a little bit more and I feel more confident for it. More aware. More in control. Relaxed.
Still working on my smiling... can even scold Ned and smile now. Or pretend to smile when I don't feel like it, which actually makes us both laugh because of the bizarre contortions of my face!
Try this: when you are out walking with someone - doesn't have to be a child - see if one of you can skip 15 yards to the other...WITHOUT smiling. Then switch. It's almost impossible to do. You can't help but smile. Ned, myself and others have had fun with that for years. Doh!
Now I'm thinking of Skippy... Skippy... Skippy, the bush kangaroo....
Not going there, besides I doubt they would allow the term 'bush kangaroo' these days !!!! (Ooh you are awful !!!!). Captain Pugwash and his crew were bad enough... NO COMMENTS PLEASE !!!!!
Don't know why I thought of that, but these days we have WWF - I hate it. It is violent, false, demeaning and has nothing good about it. Grrrrrr.
Feeling positive right now (despite the rant above!!). Feel I am understanding myself a little bit more and I feel more confident for it. More aware. More in control. Relaxed.
Still working on my smiling... can even scold Ned and smile now. Or pretend to smile when I don't feel like it, which actually makes us both laugh because of the bizarre contortions of my face!
Try this: when you are out walking with someone - doesn't have to be a child - see if one of you can skip 15 yards to the other...WITHOUT smiling. Then switch. It's almost impossible to do. You can't help but smile. Ned, myself and others have had fun with that for years. Doh!
Now I'm thinking of Skippy... Skippy... Skippy, the bush kangaroo....
Not going there, besides I doubt they would allow the term 'bush kangaroo' these days !!!! (Ooh you are awful !!!!). Captain Pugwash and his crew were bad enough... NO COMMENTS PLEASE !!!!!
Friday, March 17, 2006
You can't bottle that
I was at the a funeral yesterday of Edie Dunning, a wonderful lady, who has left us aged 87 to join her heavenly father and husband George. Her surviving son, Ron, paid tribute to her and the Vicar related the tale of how Edie and George met by chance in Walpole Park, Ealing, in 1944. They courted for a year before marrying and were together for 51 years.
A sad day but wonderful to celebrate Edie's life - one of selfless service to her husband, son and a faithful friend - Edie had met every Thursday afternoon with Joyce for the last 15 years.
My friend, Ron, has been a wonderful support for his Mum, giving up his job in the autumn to care for her while she was poorly. Edie died in peace having, I understand, said all she wanted to Ron and vice versa.
Death is draining - seeing Ron's pain and that of Edie's nephew and friends. I returned home at 4pm and, still suited, with coat and gloves on, lay on the sofa and slept for an hour.
Yet, I am grateful for the Christian hope, indeed certainty, of reconciliation in the 'afterlife'.
Ron spoke of his inner peace countless times yesterday. You can't bottle that. You can't buy it. All you need is a mustard seed.
A sad day but wonderful to celebrate Edie's life - one of selfless service to her husband, son and a faithful friend - Edie had met every Thursday afternoon with Joyce for the last 15 years.
My friend, Ron, has been a wonderful support for his Mum, giving up his job in the autumn to care for her while she was poorly. Edie died in peace having, I understand, said all she wanted to Ron and vice versa.
Death is draining - seeing Ron's pain and that of Edie's nephew and friends. I returned home at 4pm and, still suited, with coat and gloves on, lay on the sofa and slept for an hour.
Yet, I am grateful for the Christian hope, indeed certainty, of reconciliation in the 'afterlife'.
Ron spoke of his inner peace countless times yesterday. You can't bottle that. You can't buy it. All you need is a mustard seed.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Syriana
Saw this film Saturday night. Not a moment of it was I not thinking. Thinking. Thinking. What's going on? What's happening? What does that mean? How do those relate to one another? Lawyers, politicians, terrorists, FBI, young Muslims, families, foreign policy, Princes, poverty, fat cats, oil men, my car, suicide bombers.
Some of the critics have said, and I agree:
"Syriana is the starting point for an intense and lengthy conversation."
"it'll make you angry, it'll make you think and it'll scare the hell out of you."
"Seldom have form, content and cultural sensibility been so excitably aligned as in this fascinating, exasperating film about the unholy marriage of power politics and global business."
"The thematic temperature of "Syriana" runs hot and doesn't waste a single second of film time."
"a profound reflection of our own scary reality."
"Adept at delivering macro and micro perspectives without moralism or conviction."
For me, this is a thriller that did not thrill so much as leave a bitter taste in the mouth. It again frames some of the reasons for global military and political posturing, while leaving the viewer to draw their own conclusions and perhaps, judgements. And, finally I concluded, as this writer did, that the film shows:
"a little of how the world really works -- and that the world's dark machinations are every bit as sordid and pitiless as your worst suspicions." There are times when I loath America :o(
Some of the critics have said, and I agree:
"Syriana is the starting point for an intense and lengthy conversation."
"it'll make you angry, it'll make you think and it'll scare the hell out of you."
"Seldom have form, content and cultural sensibility been so excitably aligned as in this fascinating, exasperating film about the unholy marriage of power politics and global business."
"The thematic temperature of "Syriana" runs hot and doesn't waste a single second of film time."
"a profound reflection of our own scary reality."
"Adept at delivering macro and micro perspectives without moralism or conviction."
For me, this is a thriller that did not thrill so much as leave a bitter taste in the mouth. It again frames some of the reasons for global military and political posturing, while leaving the viewer to draw their own conclusions and perhaps, judgements. And, finally I concluded, as this writer did, that the film shows:
"a little of how the world really works -- and that the world's dark machinations are every bit as sordid and pitiless as your worst suspicions." There are times when I loath America :o(
Monday, March 13, 2006
Overwhelmed?
Was thinking today about what being overwhelmed means?
The dictionary says:
[1] overpower, esp. emotionally.
[2] Defeat by force
Re [1] - I imagined being overwhelmed to be moments of extreme pressure and, because too much was happening at once, to be unable to cope, function, or think straight.
I haven't changed my mind on that except for the context of my definition, or is it an interpretation? Either way, I have typically assumed the pressure to be from external circumstances - the stuff I talked about in September:
But what of the feelings that can overwhelm us daily.
If you stopped to think and analyse it, how often in a day do we experience (in no particular order and to name only a few) fear, panic, prevarication, isolation, desperation. I have realised that for me a combination of feelings, or even a single emotion, can leave me frozen inside with simply no sense of feeling anything. Isn't that another form of being overwhelmed?
Perhaps the second definition Defeat by force is applicable here. Because that state of being frozen means, in effect, that I am not able to function. I am defeated - "at a loss" in everyday language, even if only momentarily.
Have any of the following ever happened to you? Hearing bad news and grinning - it's like a nervous reaction. Being near someone who is crying and wanting to run away. Being in a train carriage with a few noisy youths and feeling panicky ... threatened. Being in a lift feeling trapped. Having to talk to someone you don't know and wanting to run and hide.
Being overwhelmed for me can take various forms and be caused be any number of things. Even compliments can be very confusing!!
The good news for today is that, having concluded that I have a heart of stone, because I often seem to feel nothing in some situations, perhaps, after all, I am feeling so much... it is... too much? Overwhelming.
All I need to do now ... is figure out what to do about it !!!!
If this sounds familiar please leave a message. Anon is fine. Dan x
The dictionary says:
[1] overpower, esp. emotionally.
[2] Defeat by force
Re [1] - I imagined being overwhelmed to be moments of extreme pressure and, because too much was happening at once, to be unable to cope, function, or think straight.
I haven't changed my mind on that except for the context of my definition, or is it an interpretation? Either way, I have typically assumed the pressure to be from external circumstances - the stuff I talked about in September:
The treadmill - the pressure I feel at the lowest point of my day - when I'm tired from work and haven't yet eaten - the interruptions that can cause me to explode - "can I have a drink? I'm hungry what's for dinner. Look at this! Dad...come here a minute please".I have been reminded today that to be overwhelmed can be due to internal pressures too, particularly in times of real trauma - bereavement, diagnosis of terminal illness, major health issues, being made redundant, marriage breakdown etc. Sounds obvious, ne?
But what of the feelings that can overwhelm us daily.
If you stopped to think and analyse it, how often in a day do we experience (in no particular order and to name only a few) fear, panic, prevarication, isolation, desperation. I have realised that for me a combination of feelings, or even a single emotion, can leave me frozen inside with simply no sense of feeling anything. Isn't that another form of being overwhelmed?
Perhaps the second definition Defeat by force is applicable here. Because that state of being frozen means, in effect, that I am not able to function. I am defeated - "at a loss" in everyday language, even if only momentarily.
Have any of the following ever happened to you? Hearing bad news and grinning - it's like a nervous reaction. Being near someone who is crying and wanting to run away. Being in a train carriage with a few noisy youths and feeling panicky ... threatened. Being in a lift feeling trapped. Having to talk to someone you don't know and wanting to run and hide.
Being overwhelmed for me can take various forms and be caused be any number of things. Even compliments can be very confusing!!
The good news for today is that, having concluded that I have a heart of stone, because I often seem to feel nothing in some situations, perhaps, after all, I am feeling so much... it is... too much? Overwhelming.
All I need to do now ... is figure out what to do about it !!!!
If this sounds familiar please leave a message. Anon is fine. Dan x
Friday, March 10, 2006
That was the week that was
What a week. Busy every night. Ups and down. Finishing it feeling strong. In summary:
Monday - Vision night - thinking about the year ahead for our church. Brilliant that we gave away £110,000 this last year. Excited about the plans ahead. "better to fail trying than to fail to try".
Heard about another male suicide at lunchtime. 4th in six/eight months - what is going on guys? See my post on 2nd November "Uno, dos, tres.... "
Tuesday - parenting support group - thinking about how Ned perceives my love and what I need to do to adjust my behaviour to meet his needs. For instance, for Lent I haven't given anything up, but last week I decided I must smile more. Ned agreed !! I think when I am listening to Ned and he is describing his day I am too intent (listening for issues like bullying, performance or whatever) and probably look rather stern! I need to lighten up and respond in more overtly positive ways. SMILE!
Later - friend came over. Tragic news in her family. One of the toughest things I have ever heard. Can't say more - confidential.
Wednesday - line management meeting with Tom, football coach. Good planning time. He's a *
Felt I was hard on a friend this afternoon and perhaps hurt him. It hurt me to think so because he has been so gracious - I cannot always understand why such a great man would spend time with me - there it is again..."am I lovable" Bob Marley: "could ya be, could ya be, could ya be loved?
Thursday - a very dear friend lost his mum today. He is devasted, having no close family now.
He has asked me to support him at the funeral next Thursday and I am honoured. He has been an amazing support to me over 20 years.
M, know you are struggling too. Feio. You're on my mind and in my prayers. Likewise Jean.
Friday - intensive study weekend on team building. Hosting at my house tonight. Missing tomorrow morning because although I got the dates right I wrote them down in February - Doh! So, will be at Dads and Lads tomorrow. Great session last week so hoping for the same again.
Crucial six nations matches this weekend - looking forward to those.
Going home now.
Grace abounds.
Thanks for reading.
Monday - Vision night - thinking about the year ahead for our church. Brilliant that we gave away £110,000 this last year. Excited about the plans ahead. "better to fail trying than to fail to try".
Heard about another male suicide at lunchtime. 4th in six/eight months - what is going on guys? See my post on 2nd November "Uno, dos, tres.... "
Tuesday - parenting support group - thinking about how Ned perceives my love and what I need to do to adjust my behaviour to meet his needs. For instance, for Lent I haven't given anything up, but last week I decided I must smile more. Ned agreed !! I think when I am listening to Ned and he is describing his day I am too intent (listening for issues like bullying, performance or whatever) and probably look rather stern! I need to lighten up and respond in more overtly positive ways. SMILE!
Later - friend came over. Tragic news in her family. One of the toughest things I have ever heard. Can't say more - confidential.
Wednesday - line management meeting with Tom, football coach. Good planning time. He's a *
Felt I was hard on a friend this afternoon and perhaps hurt him. It hurt me to think so because he has been so gracious - I cannot always understand why such a great man would spend time with me - there it is again..."am I lovable" Bob Marley: "could ya be, could ya be, could ya be loved?
Thursday - a very dear friend lost his mum today. He is devasted, having no close family now.
He has asked me to support him at the funeral next Thursday and I am honoured. He has been an amazing support to me over 20 years.
M, know you are struggling too. Feio. You're on my mind and in my prayers. Likewise Jean.
Friday - intensive study weekend on team building. Hosting at my house tonight. Missing tomorrow morning because although I got the dates right I wrote them down in February - Doh! So, will be at Dads and Lads tomorrow. Great session last week so hoping for the same again.
Crucial six nations matches this weekend - looking forward to those.
Going home now.
Grace abounds.
Thanks for reading.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
"Ooh, you are awful...
...but I like you!" Goes one of Dick Emery's larger than life 'female' characters, as she jovially shoves over another unsuspecting male!
Am I lovable? Are you lovable?
The answer to that question is an indication to much of our worldview today. If we have received positive messages of love, appreciation, encouragement and care, both explicitly and implicitly, throughout our lives (particularly in our formative years) then we probably believe that we are worth something; are of value; if only to someone else.
What if, say (as I heard told by someone) you are the youngest in a family; you weren't 'planned' and, as you grow, your mum introduces you to friends and associates as "our little mistake"?
What if your are the daughter that came instead of a son?
What if your are a son and not a daughter?
What if you were given away - adopted? Taken away and fostered?
What if your parents split up and their behaviour lead you to think (as a child) that it was your fault - that if only you had been better behaved or...something... they would have stayed together and not torn your world in half?
What if you had a domineering or abusive or violent or absent Dad?
What if you had a controlling mother who would not let you grow up?
What if you learnt to get attention from your parents by getting good grades in school, or shoplifting? What's your "if"....?
Are you lovable? You are. Yes, you are.
Am I lovable? I am. Yes, I am.
What if we believed it? What might we achieve? What healing might come? Which relationship might we start, sustain, or thrive in?
"Ooh, you are lovable..." :o)
Am I lovable? Are you lovable?
The answer to that question is an indication to much of our worldview today. If we have received positive messages of love, appreciation, encouragement and care, both explicitly and implicitly, throughout our lives (particularly in our formative years) then we probably believe that we are worth something; are of value; if only to someone else.
What if, say (as I heard told by someone) you are the youngest in a family; you weren't 'planned' and, as you grow, your mum introduces you to friends and associates as "our little mistake"?
What if your are the daughter that came instead of a son?
What if your are a son and not a daughter?
What if you were given away - adopted? Taken away and fostered?
What if your parents split up and their behaviour lead you to think (as a child) that it was your fault - that if only you had been better behaved or...something... they would have stayed together and not torn your world in half?
What if you had a domineering or abusive or violent or absent Dad?
What if you had a controlling mother who would not let you grow up?
What if you learnt to get attention from your parents by getting good grades in school, or shoplifting? What's your "if"....?
Are you lovable? You are. Yes, you are.
Am I lovable? I am. Yes, I am.
What if we believed it? What might we achieve? What healing might come? Which relationship might we start, sustain, or thrive in?
"Ooh, you are lovable..." :o)
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
High hopes
Derived from the Indo-European root kam / kem, which means, "to cover, to veil, to hide and to wound" comes the word shame.
We may experience shame following an experience of exposure, particularly when what is sensitive, intimate and vulnerable for us, is revealed or laid bare. The exposure may not only be to others, but perhaps a revelation to ourselves, e.g. how we behave when we are drunk, can be so out of "character". We all have a tendency not to admit to certain personal qualities!
What is common in all experiences of shame is feeling we have failed to meet our personal expectations and standards. Thoughts and feelings of self-dislike, self-condemnation and self-denigration will be present and perhaps be almost overwhelming.
The psychological impact of shame can be amazingly subtle, yet can cripple our journey towards wholeness.
Shame means we believe ourselves to be bad, defective and wanting. A deficit of love, a need for comfort and reassurance are familiar to me.
"Shame is associated with helplessness, weakness and loss of control; it is an experience involving intense feelings of painful embarrassment, humiliated anger and a sense of devastation. There are feelings of shrinkage and diminution, which is quite the opposite of feeling a rooted sense of competence and self worth." © Terry Bi rchmore. 1997.
We may experience shame following an experience of exposure, particularly when what is sensitive, intimate and vulnerable for us, is revealed or laid bare. The exposure may not only be to others, but perhaps a revelation to ourselves, e.g. how we behave when we are drunk, can be so out of "character". We all have a tendency not to admit to certain personal qualities!
What is common in all experiences of shame is feeling we have failed to meet our personal expectations and standards. Thoughts and feelings of self-dislike, self-condemnation and self-denigration will be present and perhaps be almost overwhelming.
The psychological impact of shame can be amazingly subtle, yet can cripple our journey towards wholeness.
Shame means we believe ourselves to be bad, defective and wanting. A deficit of love, a need for comfort and reassurance are familiar to me.
"Shame is associated with helplessness, weakness and loss of control; it is an experience involving intense feelings of painful embarrassment, humiliated anger and a sense of devastation. There are feelings of shrinkage and diminution, which is quite the opposite of feeling a rooted sense of competence and self worth." © Terry Bi rchmore. 1997.
Shame
Shame - [Collins dict.] a painful emotion caused by awareness of having done something dishonourable or foolish. Capacity to feel shame; cause of shame; cause for regret; disgrace.
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