Good night...and good luck

How are you today my friend. I'm feeling strangely bright and breezy for a Monday morning!

Interesting weekend. Stood up on Friday night! ha ha!
A friend in crisis prevented my date keeping our appointment.

Stood up Sunday night aswell by two of my best friends. Their different excuses came on text within a minute of one another!

Dads + Lads was good - everyone came and (I think) had a good time.
The discussion was around "what does fatherhood mean to you?"
The opening question I posed for the guys was "what's good about being a dad?" Silence. A stumbling attempt at an answer. A dictate about what 'you' should do as a dad.

Maybe there was reticence to speak up in the first session?
But felt discouraged that the question was such a struggle for the dads. Hope, however, that it will provoke thought this week.

Decided to go to the cafe my church has recently bought in the high street to wind down. Had I gone straight home I know the session would have been a complete disaster after 30 minutes reflection and pondering!! Patience, Dan. I have to remember that each course resets to the beginning - I am carrying on from the last one, in a way, but the dads aren't. AND, isn't this why I am running the course in the first place - to celebrate fatherhood and 'big up' our children.

Good to chill out at the cafe with a couple of guys who I haven't seen for a while. Phil and I used to be in an accountability group, so fab to switch back to level 5 so quickly.

Went to the late night show Saturday (after the enthralling repeat of The Apprentice) to see "Good night...and good luck" the first of two George Clooney films out now. Interesting stuff, won't go into the politics of it now, but I will always remember this film as the first in which I had the theatre completely to myself!!

Gonna end with a moan - the Calcutta Cup Saturday - groan. How did Ben Cohen not score in the corner? We were poor. Scotland deserved their victory.

And so it came to pass....

that I was indeed crunching a carrot during preparations for dinner! Had a fab time with Ian & Amanda, friends of 12 years. Actually, I think Cirencester is in Gloucestershire but, either way, I wish they lived closer. Level 5 conversations with both, one of which moved me to tears due to the love, care and concern expressed for Ned and I. It was beautiful and painful simultaneously. The downside was the fact that we were sitting outside about 10.30 in freezing temperatures; in a brief snow flurry; sustained by Johnny Walker and a cigar ...ahhh... that's why we were outside - now I remember!

Similarly, on Wednesday night I had dinner with a couple who have known me longer than anyone outside my adopted family (who now barely know me at all). Chris and Lucy - my youth group leaders sufferred me when I was a spotty, pain in the arse, teenager - so they tell me!! At least I have lost the spots!! Again, it was wonderful to talk about the deeper magic and, sadly, the absence of it for each of us at times, and those around us. I'm not sure we made any more sense of life's journey by 11.30 but I feel an incredible bond with them both, who have seen me go through my difficult times, and are heroes to me.

Ned and I had a great time at the weekend dismantling his 2 metre high fort in the garden which, I am hoping, will partly remain (yes...recycling man!) as a pergola. Wonderful time showing him how to saw, mark the wood beforehand, use a hammer, chisel, screws and screwdriver etc etc.

The Dads + Lads program I run starts tomorrow. I retired early to bed last night with a stinking headache, only to rise at 3.45 a.m. to spend an hour and a half preparing for it. Guess it was stressing me! http://www.westlondonymca.org/news/dadsandlads.htm

Looking forward to the weekend then. Meeting good, good mates Sunday night for some accountability and sharing. Little Mary Alice's baptism is on Sunday morning. Football tonight followed by a second 'date' with the lady I met a fortnight ago. Ooh er! Not finding that easy. Been on my own for a while now and know that trust is something I find very difficult. Still, I hope we will have fun conversation as before. She challanged me about my beliefs, which was a tad like facing a firing squad, but a great debate about Christianity nonetheless, and how it relates to real life! Lovin' it, lovin' it.

Talking with the men's group yesterday how I feel at pains that words can be very cheap with regards opinions, attitudes, beliefs and that our visible, tangible integrity speaks volumes. I'm trying to live up to that. The stakes are high. Gotta stand before a group of Dads tomorrow and be vulnerable enough not to appear arrogant that I am somehow a model Dad, yet for them to have confidence that together the course will enrich their lives and relationships. The stakes are high.

And so it came to pass... another week has passed. Another blog. Another thought / wish / prayer... that you... the reader... would know how wide and high and long and deep is the love of God, who loves us so much that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. The price is paid.

Crunching carrots

I have a couple of days off now - going away with Ned to see my friends, his godparents, and one of my godsons, in Wiltshire.

Sorry didn't really download my many, many thoughts into a blog this week - been really busy.

Catch u later. :o)

Just like that!

From the master.... Tommy Cooper:

Phone answering machine message ... 'If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key.'

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but couldn't find any.

I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, '! I know you can't, I've cut your arms off.'

I went to a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a muscle!

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft and it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Our ice-cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

'Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That's the Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'

A man takes his Rotweiller to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What, because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy.'

A guy goes into the doctor's.'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.' 'How's that?' 'Now don't you start!'

Two elephants walk off a cliff ... boom, boom!

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's not me so it's either my Mum or my Dad, my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. I think it's Colin.

Two fat blokes in a pub. One says to the other, 'Your round. 'The other one says, 'So are you, you fat git!'

Police arrested two youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

A man walked into the doctor ' and said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places.' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore.'

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to rise as digging continues into the night.

A secret...

Checkin' out for the weekend. Tired. Ned has had a heavy cold all week. He climbs in bed in the small hours and coughs and splutters all over me! Poor lad - we've been waking up pretty much every hour the last few nights. Sunday I actually sent him back to his bed because I had two exams Monday night. He was great about it.

So, looking forward to playing football later - nearly always rejuvenates me. Otherwise a chilled weekend awaits as Ned will be with his mum.

"A secret is something you tell one other person" - gotta 'blind date' tomorrow..... Hope it's a fun evening. Think Lebanese is on the menu. Expanding my networks. Meeting new people. Cool.

P.S. Hope this font size is better for some of my more mature blogites!

Like the sunshine

At the weekend my friend Mark conjured up a cool visual aid using a newsletter. He was describing how broken relationships leave us scarred. Torn. He ripped a strip from the edge of the paper.
Broken promises. Tear.
Broken marriages. Tear.
Broken dreams. Tear.

The simplicity of it was upsetting and it felt like my life was sitting in the palm of his hand... in shreds.

Like my last post, I am the guy who knew he was overdrawn, but didn't realise by how much....the bank statement just came in. Oh. Bugger.

On the upside, part of my Course has been considering the importance of evaluation.

You have to know where you are and where you are not in order to plot a course to your chosen destination.

Mark's message was of grace - God's Grace. I was lost - now I am found.
Not healed completely. But completely loved.

As I write I'm reminded of the Corgi's song "Everybody's gotta learn sometime"

"Change your heart, look around you
Change your heart, it will astound you
I need your lovin', like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime"

The drum keeps on turning

Re my post on 24th Jan. "When it all comes out in the wash". Had a follow up to that this week when I was able to feedback to the people concerned on most of my list of 12 frustrations!

Kinda scary to deliver 'news' like that. Not only because it's a group but also because of the individuals who make it up. I realised later that I was trembling inside. Lasted probably an hour. Gut churning.

I had ascertained in the autumn that I was going to set aside what people might think of me when I related back thoughts and feelings, so that I was being totally honest, and not minimising the affect of this stuff for me or others. Nor spinning information to big me up. A constant battle!

But there was I... Trembling inside... Meaning... What?

I think I underestimate just how much others opinion of me really matters to me. I think perhaps I am realising why that is?

It's the desire to be liked. To be taken seriously. To be important. Noticed. Included. Respected. Loved. So I guess I'm in deficit in some area of my life?

This lead me to consider what my life would look like if I didn't have activities or shared interests in common with my friends. Would I still have those friends. Would they like me for who I am? How much does my position and role dictate that?
Aim: to pursue a path on which the influence of others lessens, and the real me can stroll on in integrity. Here's hoping!

Bricking it

A young and successful executive was driving along a suburban street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked vehicle shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you for stopping - may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

With thanks to Robin

Oddities of the last 48 hours

[1] Architect, building contractor, surveyor, council officers from Planning and Conservation depts.

I have never so clearly failed to connect with an individual in a business meeting as I did yesterday with the last on this list. In my defence, understanding the issues and the statutory requirements, was like nailing jelly to a wall. But this person was cold, unhelpful, specific, vague and contradictory all at the same time. Arghh. Frustration.

I doubt when Jesus said "love your neighbour as yourself" that he had tried to get a extension approved on his bungalow!

[2] Have you ever.....

...walked along a road when everyone coming the other way is staring at you?

What goes through your mind?

Hair - check. Flies - check. Nose - check. Dribble - check. Right?

Happened to me this week..... weird feeling.

P.S. Check out the show STOMP in the West End. Saw it Tuesday night. FAB!

The offside rule...

...EXPLAINED FOR GIRLS [blogfans remember this is purely for your consideration, without any personal liability for its contents, its tone or regarding any broader interpretation or inference! Got a problem see Steve W - now of no fixed abode!!]

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse has *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

There you go poppet!!