I love a lot of Woody Allen's movies. Annie Hall is one of my favs and it was making me laugh at the weekend. One bit made me roar anew: he is dating a 17 year old (interesting as it later turned out in reality).
She says to him: Dont you have feelings for me?
Reply: I have nothing but feelings for you.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Grasping the nettle
Was chatting to a mate on Sunday who chose to report a colleague for alcohol abuse.
The colleague had been part of the relief effort following the Tsunami. On his return he requested counselling from his employer who refused. He was increasingly struggling to come to terms with what he saw in Asia and turned to alcohol as an escape.
This went unnoticed for months as the man was drinking aftershave to cover the smell on his breath (Ed - I had never heard that before and am still slightly stunned)
My mate noticed and chose to jeopordise their relationship by informing a senior who took the matter on. He is now receiving the help he wanted, and is truly grateful that someone stuck their neck out for him to. A member of HR is being disciplined.
Grasping the nettle. Not easy. Risky. But worth it. Well done big man
The colleague had been part of the relief effort following the Tsunami. On his return he requested counselling from his employer who refused. He was increasingly struggling to come to terms with what he saw in Asia and turned to alcohol as an escape.
This went unnoticed for months as the man was drinking aftershave to cover the smell on his breath (Ed - I had never heard that before and am still slightly stunned)
My mate noticed and chose to jeopordise their relationship by informing a senior who took the matter on. He is now receiving the help he wanted, and is truly grateful that someone stuck their neck out for him to. A member of HR is being disciplined.
Grasping the nettle. Not easy. Risky. But worth it. Well done big man
To an adopted child
RECEIVED THIS ON EMAIL THIS WEEK - love that someone took the time to write:
When I listened to your testimony on Father's Day, I was really sad that you felt the way you did because you were adopted. Being adopted myself, I had years of mixed emotions, ranging from absolute bitterness and rage, to the deepest love for my adopted mother and father. It probably helped that I met my birth mother, who turned out to be very shallow and only interested in herself. However, by meeting my birth mother, I realised that my adopted mother was my true mother as she loved me from the moment she set eyes on me.
This poem also helped me in my deepest times of despair, because it is about the deep love that an adopted mother feels for her baby. I hope it brings you the same comfort. Depending on how I am feeling when I read it, it still normally reduces me to tears.
My favourite line is 'you are my heart's adopted part of me'.
To me, that line is so powerful of the love the mother feels towards her baby. That strength of love, is the same love that I felt for my 2 girls when they were born. Anyway, I hope you like it.
When I listened to your testimony on Father's Day, I was really sad that you felt the way you did because you were adopted. Being adopted myself, I had years of mixed emotions, ranging from absolute bitterness and rage, to the deepest love for my adopted mother and father. It probably helped that I met my birth mother, who turned out to be very shallow and only interested in herself. However, by meeting my birth mother, I realised that my adopted mother was my true mother as she loved me from the moment she set eyes on me.
This poem also helped me in my deepest times of despair, because it is about the deep love that an adopted mother feels for her baby. I hope it brings you the same comfort. Depending on how I am feeling when I read it, it still normally reduces me to tears.
'To an adopted child'
Dear, do not weep. By every act of mine
I am your mother...by my sleeples nights,
By every step in the long days's design
That I have taken, by the sweet delights
Of your blessed companionship, by the clear gaze,
By all my care in your begining days,
Your warm, soft body held against my breast
Warmed me and dried my disappointed tears,
You made a real home of our lonely nest.
Now we look forward to the fruitful years
With you beside us bearing in your hands
The love that every mother heart demands.
I am your mother, though you may not be
Flesh of my flesh. Our love goes deeper still.
You are my heart's adopted part of me.
I am your mother by the power of will.
Because I did not want to walk alone......
From the whole world, I chose you for my own.
Anne Campbell - author
My favourite line is 'you are my heart's adopted part of me'.
To me, that line is so powerful of the love the mother feels towards her baby. That strength of love, is the same love that I felt for my 2 girls when they were born. Anyway, I hope you like it.
Never gonna change
I kinda like the fact that I get told off for not blogging!
I was informed yesterday that someone 'wastes' two seconds of every day clicking my way to see if I've blogged. And that someone they know, but I don't, checks things out and was wondering what I was up to! Phew - no pressure!!
As you can see from the blog beneath I've been non-stop. Sorry. Please don't give up on me.
Saw a good mate last night and we do level 5 together. He hasn't given up on someone who had said to him "we're never gonna change". My take on the context being - this is how it is - take it or leave it - don't expect anything different than how its been for years - you're not going to influence anything in our lives.
This struck me as incredibly hard. Hard to hear, but also hard to say.
I may disappear up my own arse on occasions (as mentioned by a mate some months back!) but its the journey I'm on. Moving. Forward. Learning. Stumbling. Backwards. Falling. Getting back up. Challenge. Change. Revision. Pain. Achievement. Satisfaction. Growth... I hope. I think. I believe.
What is there in my life that is never gonna change. I wonder?
I am experiencing new things right now. Some of that is about "grasping the risk" I think? I am learning about care and being cared about. Told I am loveable. Hearing I am love-able. Feels great. Hopeful. :o)
What is there in your life that is never gonna change. Do you wonder?
I was informed yesterday that someone 'wastes' two seconds of every day clicking my way to see if I've blogged. And that someone they know, but I don't, checks things out and was wondering what I was up to! Phew - no pressure!!
As you can see from the blog beneath I've been non-stop. Sorry. Please don't give up on me.
Saw a good mate last night and we do level 5 together. He hasn't given up on someone who had said to him "we're never gonna change". My take on the context being - this is how it is - take it or leave it - don't expect anything different than how its been for years - you're not going to influence anything in our lives.
This struck me as incredibly hard. Hard to hear, but also hard to say.
I may disappear up my own arse on occasions (as mentioned by a mate some months back!) but its the journey I'm on. Moving. Forward. Learning. Stumbling. Backwards. Falling. Getting back up. Challenge. Change. Revision. Pain. Achievement. Satisfaction. Growth... I hope. I think. I believe.
What is there in my life that is never gonna change. I wonder?
I am experiencing new things right now. Some of that is about "grasping the risk" I think? I am learning about care and being cared about. Told I am loveable. Hearing I am love-able. Feels great. Hopeful. :o)
What is there in your life that is never gonna change. Do you wonder?
I love my job! :o)
I have spent over a year working on a housing scheme for homeless people in West London. Not that I undertake any of the construction work myself, but I project manage the thing from concept to opening.
The scheme provides 10 additional self-contained studio flats in an annexe / extension to the existing building, and these are intended for young homeless people who are more independent than those living in the Phase I bedsits. The new wing gives the guys potential to move from Phase I into Phase II.
Additionally there is a residents lounge, IT suite, laundry, interview room, with the relocation of the office (with a small kitchen area) and staff to a new secure reception. Two flats and the communal areas will be designed to support clients with sensory impairment.
Last Monday we should have received the keys from the Building Contractor (following delays in June and August) and I had a timetable to prepare the flats and common areas for residence. This would include placing in the rooms: beds and bedding, all the furniture, curtains / blinds, office equipment, kitting out the kitchens with everything normally found in a kitchen, and so on. It's like moving flat 10 times in 6 days!
However, my week has 'gone pear-shaped' for a variety of reasons, but overall because not a single contractor has meet the agreed deadlines so far. Grrrrrrrr....
I have tried to manage my frustration, irritation and incredulity at the incompetence of some organisations to deliver on their commitments. I have had extremes of peace and calm, when I managed very well I think, and private despair!
Now looking at a final date of Friday next week.... maybe... if everyone does what they should. I love my job! :o)
The scheme provides 10 additional self-contained studio flats in an annexe / extension to the existing building, and these are intended for young homeless people who are more independent than those living in the Phase I bedsits. The new wing gives the guys potential to move from Phase I into Phase II.
Additionally there is a residents lounge, IT suite, laundry, interview room, with the relocation of the office (with a small kitchen area) and staff to a new secure reception. Two flats and the communal areas will be designed to support clients with sensory impairment.
Last Monday we should have received the keys from the Building Contractor (following delays in June and August) and I had a timetable to prepare the flats and common areas for residence. This would include placing in the rooms: beds and bedding, all the furniture, curtains / blinds, office equipment, kitting out the kitchens with everything normally found in a kitchen, and so on. It's like moving flat 10 times in 6 days!
However, my week has 'gone pear-shaped' for a variety of reasons, but overall because not a single contractor has meet the agreed deadlines so far. Grrrrrrrr....
I have tried to manage my frustration, irritation and incredulity at the incompetence of some organisations to deliver on their commitments. I have had extremes of peace and calm, when I managed very well I think, and private despair!
Now looking at a final date of Friday next week.... maybe... if everyone does what they should. I love my job! :o)
Friday, September 15, 2006
Grasping the risk
Today is 21/9 - I read the above recently and posted it as a draft ready to blog as I didn't have time to comment on 15th - can barely remember where I picked it up (probably Pip's blog... http://pipwilsonbhp.blogspot.com/...) nor even what I was gonna say!!!
Maybe it's just for you...unadulterated by comment from me?
Maybe it's just for you...unadulterated by comment from me?
So often we build prisons for ourselves. We blame others for our confines, but it us who constrict ourselves all along. Most of the walls in our lives we build ourselves.
But sometimes, just once in a while, we get a glimpse of the infinity of the universe and know that God is at work. That's when we must choose to stay in the prison or grasp the risk
John Donaghue (from 'Anam Cara').
Monday, September 04, 2006
9/11 - Five years on
I watched an amazing film documentary on Saturday night about a 3-man camera crew following a rookie fire-fighter as he graduated from the Training Academy to being posted to a Fire Station. The footage began in June 2001 and showed life behind the scenes and how he (Tony) fared in the early days. What was striking, as we saw footage from the summer months, was the camaraderie between the guys in the battalion, their commitment to training and professionalism, and how they felt they were contributing to society.
In the early morning of Tuesday 11th September a unit was called out to attend a gas leak. One of the film crew (one of two brothers [who were French]) was, as usual, present. The job was just about resolved when they heard an airplane, flying low, pass over them. The camera man panned left and upwards to focus on the jet, just before it hit the World Trade Centre.
The programme from there on was incredible, as the events unfolded, and very moving.
That anyone should have been filming as the first plan hit the WTC was unbelievable, but the camera man followed the crew into the lobby and continued to shoot as the attempted 'rescue' mission unfolded. We witnessed the fire-fighters at the command post try to grapple with the situation and respond appropriately. We met briefly the first recorded casualty - the Chaplain, pacing the lobby, praying.
We heard crashes from outside, loud enough to be picked up by the camera mic inside the building, that were, it transpired, people jumping from the upper floors as the fire raged where the airplanes fuel had ignited - you will remember the terrible smoke pouring from the tower.
The action switched between the lobby (of tower 1) and the other brother who was trying to get to the scene and was, also, still filming. So we had two views of the second plan hitting the other tower.
Later, as the second tower collapsed into a mound of rubble we, as all in the lobby did, heard and 'felt' the rumble as the foundations shattered and concrete descended. Everyone ran.
In the street they ran too. The camera continued to record even as the cameraman was tackled by a fireman from behind to save him from the tidal wave of debris - we saw clouds of dust and grime breaking across the pavement, papers from the former offices sticking and blowing away from the lens... It must have lasted a couple of minutes.
It is miraculous that such a record exists. Perhaps more so that none of the Battalion from that Station lost a life. Though the Chief's brother lost his.
Often the horror and the drama of an event is portrayed in theatrical mode - not so here. This was live footage, later mixed with interviews. Stunning. One officer, who retired six months later, shared that he thinks about 9/11 everyday.
I wrote a poem on 17/09/01 with the comment: Moved by, and a reflection on, recent global events. I haven't thought about this poem for years - I print it here for you now, though I am pondering whether it was a valid comment for then, or for now? What do you think?
-------------------------------------
Tears weigh heavy on my heart
-------------------------------------
When I think of all the life wasted,
Not here by famine or flood.
By some who took it so easy jet.
And look at your hands - is that blood?
Why do we cry now so freely?
With tears, for injustice; in pain.
I sense the moment surreally,
My senses doused andinflamedd just the same.
I wonder quite how we arrived here?
For we the High way was long.
Our carriage decidedly comfy?
We were much too alright to see wrong.
Afar the thousands pass through,
This world, in a moment alone.
Not wished for by us, that's true.
But if we could change it - wouldn't you?
So where do we queue and whom do we call?
To amend the worldly constitution.
There is nowhere perhaps, except the "I will",
To pass a new resolution.
Come the next chance to alter the course,
Of the path that we walk everyday.
Don't add or subtract, duck or detour,
When the traffic is coming your way.
For we had no idea,
Of suffering that's clear.
When ours is minutely...theirs secondly.
The multiple for many more dear.
Shall we still, wash our hands,
Or our neighbours feet,
Consider each soul as a grain of sand?
Thus, in time, who knows where next we'll meet?
Wait! "Someone must pay!"
What again; not again. Evermore?
Why can't we dismount this cycle?
Forgiveness would even the score.
History notes: one man resolved with His breath.
Settled the wages of war, and of death.
Be not liable for investment in stealth. Instead,
Share the dividend. Lives saved. Oh wealth!
So today may our voices be yelled,
Against global revenge and spillage.
Or the hope that tomorrow held,
May never shake, as yesterdays city nee Village.
In the early morning of Tuesday 11th September a unit was called out to attend a gas leak. One of the film crew (one of two brothers [who were French]) was, as usual, present. The job was just about resolved when they heard an airplane, flying low, pass over them. The camera man panned left and upwards to focus on the jet, just before it hit the World Trade Centre.
The programme from there on was incredible, as the events unfolded, and very moving.
That anyone should have been filming as the first plan hit the WTC was unbelievable, but the camera man followed the crew into the lobby and continued to shoot as the attempted 'rescue' mission unfolded. We witnessed the fire-fighters at the command post try to grapple with the situation and respond appropriately. We met briefly the first recorded casualty - the Chaplain, pacing the lobby, praying.
We heard crashes from outside, loud enough to be picked up by the camera mic inside the building, that were, it transpired, people jumping from the upper floors as the fire raged where the airplanes fuel had ignited - you will remember the terrible smoke pouring from the tower.
The action switched between the lobby (of tower 1) and the other brother who was trying to get to the scene and was, also, still filming. So we had two views of the second plan hitting the other tower.
Later, as the second tower collapsed into a mound of rubble we, as all in the lobby did, heard and 'felt' the rumble as the foundations shattered and concrete descended. Everyone ran.
In the street they ran too. The camera continued to record even as the cameraman was tackled by a fireman from behind to save him from the tidal wave of debris - we saw clouds of dust and grime breaking across the pavement, papers from the former offices sticking and blowing away from the lens... It must have lasted a couple of minutes.
It is miraculous that such a record exists. Perhaps more so that none of the Battalion from that Station lost a life. Though the Chief's brother lost his.
Often the horror and the drama of an event is portrayed in theatrical mode - not so here. This was live footage, later mixed with interviews. Stunning. One officer, who retired six months later, shared that he thinks about 9/11 everyday.
I wrote a poem on 17/09/01 with the comment: Moved by, and a reflection on, recent global events. I haven't thought about this poem for years - I print it here for you now, though I am pondering whether it was a valid comment for then, or for now? What do you think?
-------------------------------------
Tears weigh heavy on my heart
-------------------------------------
When I think of all the life wasted,
Not here by famine or flood.
By some who took it so easy jet.
And look at your hands - is that blood?
Why do we cry now so freely?
With tears, for injustice; in pain.
I sense the moment surreally,
My senses doused andinflamedd just the same.
I wonder quite how we arrived here?
For we the High way was long.
Our carriage decidedly comfy?
We were much too alright to see wrong.
Afar the thousands pass through,
This world, in a moment alone.
Not wished for by us, that's true.
But if we could change it - wouldn't you?
So where do we queue and whom do we call?
To amend the worldly constitution.
There is nowhere perhaps, except the "I will",
To pass a new resolution.
Come the next chance to alter the course,
Of the path that we walk everyday.
Don't add or subtract, duck or detour,
When the traffic is coming your way.
For we had no idea,
Of suffering that's clear.
When ours is minutely...theirs secondly.
The multiple for many more dear.
Shall we still, wash our hands,
Or our neighbours feet,
Consider each soul as a grain of sand?
Thus, in time, who knows where next we'll meet?
Wait! "Someone must pay!"
What again; not again. Evermore?
Why can't we dismount this cycle?
Forgiveness would even the score.
History notes: one man resolved with His breath.
Settled the wages of war, and of death.
Be not liable for investment in stealth. Instead,
Share the dividend. Lives saved. Oh wealth!
So today may our voices be yelled,
Against global revenge and spillage.
Or the hope that tomorrow held,
May never shake, as yesterdays city nee Village.
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