Thursday, June 22, 2006

Football quotes

Have seen or received these via a couple or sources today. Enjoy:

''My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7."
David Beckham

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
Mark Viduka

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."
David Beckham

"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." Neville Southall

"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable." Paul Gascoigne

"I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well." Alan Shearer

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." Mark Draper

"You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out." Peter Shilton

"I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester." Stan Collymore

"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing."

Ade Akinbiyi

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."
Ian Wright

"I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier." Ugo Ehiogu

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough." Jonathan Woodgate

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." Stuart Pearce

"I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right."
Lee Hendrie

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." Ian Rush

"Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." Steve Lomas

"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."
Barry Venison

"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet." David Beckham

"The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European."
Phil Neville

"All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed."
Mitchell Thomas

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
Alan Shearer

"I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd."
Johnny Giles

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals." Thierry Henry

5 more words + 2 more songs

Realised that I am having some backlash from speaking Sunday (and perhaps my blog here on Friday?) - have spent lots of time on the PS2 over last two nights - last being 3am
  1. Escaping
  2. Weary (there's a surprise!)
  3. Numb
  4. Unfocussed
  5. Uneasy

Don't feel entirely downcast as I think about this. Guess it's a short term coping mechanism which has slightly crept up on me, but feels ok to have spotted it. What else might I have done? PS2 is a filthy habit, but there are worse!! It is, or can be, addictive however.

Ned left his current game at his mum's place at the weekend and has decided not to play this week - so far so good - and it's great to see him tuning out of it - he's a better man than me at times!!!

Helpful to blog as the feelings were felt. TTFN x

Oh, and two more beautiful songs:

  • Mabe tomorrow - Stereophonics
  • I want you back for good - Take That

Belly up

Saw this today on http://www.youthblog.org/ which I read occasionally - this first one made me belly laugh!

DAV1NC1 C0DE
A Theologian was asked by Radio 4 to comment on the book and his reply was rather dismissive, consisting merely of, "Did you ask a marine Biologist to comment on Finding Nemo?"


Second, Tom Hanks when asked if he and his wife had any qualms about the story. His reply, "No, absolutely not. My heritage, and that of my wife, suggests that our sins have been taken away, not our brains."

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

High Hopes

Indeed it was a cracking weekend - work, rest and play!

Enjoying the World Cup - job done by England last night to win the group undefeated. Plenty of folks bemoaning that, which I don't understand. I think we have played ok - the standard of the lesser teams is certainly improving, and they seem to have less fear than in past tournaments. The aim of many teams, ours too, used to be secure a draw, then another, and hope to snatch a victory to qualify. Therefore the football in Germany has been much more open I think.

Pleased to share some of my story twice in church on Sunday - haven't had a backlash personally or felt insecure about doing it. People seemed receptive to the service with a couple in tears over my bit - seemed to touch a nerve and I will try to follow up with them. I did get a few hugs too, one from a bear of a man who is 6' 6" - felt in danger for my life! Nonetheless a touching and surprising moment in public.

I do feel called to use my past experiences to be real like that and hopefully to open a window for others to receive God's love and healing - goodness knows I need it!

P.S. wanna check out the England v Paraguay event we ran @ St Paul's? See
http://www.christiansinsport.org.uk/

Friday, June 16, 2006

Zippin' up my boots...

... going back to my roots (Odyssey - circa 1979?) in case you wondered why I am quoting a pyschologist below and talking about discovering who I am! See my last two posts.

My first year was thus: given up for adoption at 8 weeks. In a foster home. In another foster home. Adopted at 8 months.

My son said to me at the weekend "so Dad, you were an orphan." I never called myself that before. We talked and I was able to tell him that I now know who my birth mum is and that he has met her.

"Oh" he said!

Thanks J for bringing me into the world - I am truly thankful :o)

My life isn't big news in the global village in which we live, but it's important to me! And to my God. I will saying a little about my story this Sunday in church for Father's Day. Putting together some car chase DVD action for the big screens and base-busting tunes to back that up. There'll be a couple of motorbikes on stage too! No stereotyping here!!!!!!

So, bring on the weekend... football, breakfast with a friend, beers with a mate, landscape gardening, Hanwell carnival and some sun-baked chillin' too I hope. Love ya.

Stage 1

ER1KS0N'S 8 stages of life - his theory states that the needs of the psyche (mind) must be met or imbalance will occur. The basic pycychological needs during the 8 stages are:
  • Acceptance and Accomplishment
The first stage is the first year of life and the need is for acceptance.

In early infancy we learn trust or mistrust. We either gain a balance between trust and the risk of being let down, or are suspicious, mustrustful and unable to relate fully to others.

Babies have one way of communicating - they cry - for food (hunger), attention (love / security / bonding) or in pain (relief / comfort).

The important event in the birth to one year old stage is feeding.

According to Erikson, an infant will develop a sense of trust only if the parent or care-giver is responsive and consistent with the basic needs being met. The need for care and food must be met with comforting regularity. The infant must first form a trusting relationship with the parent or caregiver, otherwise a sense of mistrust will develop.

Elements for a positive outcome:

  • The infant's need for care, familiarity, comfort and nourishment are met.
  • Parental consistency and responsiveness is essential for trust to develop.

Elements for a negative outcome:

  • Babies who are not securely attached to their mothers are less cooperative and more aggressive in their interactions with their mothers.
  • As they grow older, they become less competent and sympathetic with peers. They also explore their environment with less enthusiasm and persistence.

Examples: Babies will begin to understand that objects and people exist even when they cannot see them. This is where trust becomes important.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Up, up and away

Well, I am pleased to say that the depression experienced last week was temporary and lifted over the weekend. I feel fine again now. Strange that an anniversary that has barely registered with me over so many years affected me so?

I guess it is related to the counselling work I am undertaking and not only thinking but feeling much more about how I am with 'stuff' and how it affects me.

I am developing a greated perception not only of who I was (how my behaviour was defined by mistrust, suspicion, an inability to receive love and an uncanny knack of rejecting love), but also who I AM.

Some don't understand at all that I was ignorant of my emotions. It has left me open to accusations which haven't been pleasant.

Not out of the woods yet - still a long way to travel on this journey - but I'm sure that I would rather be on this path than any other. Complete healing may be far away, but that's where I'm headed :o)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Heart of kindness

Was out of the office yesterday at a Dads + Lads conference. In the afternoon I had been asked to present two workshops highlighting my program and how it runs.

I introduced myself, part of which was to state my aim as a parent - to reach my sons heart.

Can you imagine my pride and pleasure when last week Ned came home with a school certificate for outstanding achievement, awarded for "the kindness he always shows to others" :o)

Friday, June 09, 2006

Closing remarks...

... as the week ends... Been a difficult one emotionally - been in a pit for reasons explored beneath, (Out of sorts? + Jury still out), but still not fully discerned.

Feeling on the up now, especially going into the weekend: football and 3 Peaks reunion tonight (see below).

England's World Cup starts tomorrow. Come on England!

Sunday - receiving my graduation certificate and then to the pub for lunch with my course mates and their families.

Ned home too and looking forward to referee-ing his friends 8th birthday football party. Hopefully with now sending offs this time!!

Moreover, I have had many encouraging comments this week from you guys.

For you, and others, those who prayed for me - thanks. I really appreciate it.

Hope it wasn't too excruciating to read of my struggles. If you don't experience that yourself - thank God! If you do, and could relate, hope you were reminded you're not alone. Love ya. xox

3 Peaks - first anniversary

A year ago this weekend a group of 9 mates and I undertook the Three Peaks Challenge - to climb Ben Nevis, Scarfell Pike & Snowdon in 24 hours or under - supported by 2 guys who drove / cooked for us.

The reason? In 2004 we shared a journey through cancer with a very special lad. Ed, aged 19, died on 22nd January 2005.

We wanted to do something for teenagers who suffer in this way. We aimed to raise £10,000 for the Teenage Cancer Trust - we raised £15,000 - completing the task on 23 hours, 17 minutes.

Tonight we will be celebrating the pleasure, the pain and the comraderie of the Challenge with a curry, and raising a glass of beer in fond memory of our friend, Ed - missed but not forgotten.

You can check out the highs and lows of our 3 peaks by clicking here:

Video: http://s117403556.websitehome.co.uk/Lists/Announcements/DispForm.aspx?ID=12

Photos: http://s117403556.websitehome.co.uk/3%20Peaks%20Challenge/Forms/AllItems.aspx

You can spot me sporting shades, a fetching stubble, and (usually) a wide-brimmed hat, or a woolly one with my IQ on it !! :o)

England v Brasil :o)

It is just before the England v Brasil match.

Ronaldinho goes into the Brasilian changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're shite and we can't be bothered.

"Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself - you lads go down the bierkeller."

So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself, and the rest of the Brasilian team go off for a few steins.

After a couple they wonder how the game is going, so they ask mine host to check teletext. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brasil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!

Anyway, a few lagers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on."

They put teletext back on."Result from the Stadium 'Brasil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 mins) - England 1 (Lampard 89 mins)."

They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against England!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands weeping inconsolably. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be loco, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, no, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 72 minutes."

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Jury still out

Feeling crap again today and still haven't put a finger on why. My 10 year anniversary would have been on Thursday and, while I don't think that's the main thing, it may be contributing?

Have been apart (and now divorced) longer than we were together, but who knows how these things work? I know I don't have any yearning at all to go back into that relationship, which didn't benefit me a great deal (!!!) but, having mentioned loneliness yesterday, guess that I am feeling bereft of a soul mate - on my own now 5 years. :o(

However, having a confusing time thinking about a lady with whom I was friends a couple of years ago - a truly wonderful woman. She was really keen on me but I couldn't reciprocate, for all sorts of simple and complicated reasons. She is now in another relationship and likely to move country to be with and marry her beloved. Genuinely delighted for her, but can't help feeling regret that a cracking gal may have passed me over because I was too emotionally f*#ked up to recognise her worth and pursue her.

Have told people today that have asked how I am that "I am out of sorts" which, bless them, is followed up by a question concerning my health and, when I say that isn't it that, the conversation flounders somewhat! Interesting.

Honesty? Trying to be honest but wonder if I have now said more here than I should? Other days I don't care so much, but vulnerable today. Bugger.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Out of sorts?

The weekend lived up to its billing and I had a good time with Ned. Did everything except cycle, though we did walk to the canal to feed the ducks instead, and got caught in a shower!

However, I find myself today quite out of sorts, and I'm not sure why?

Saw various friends yesterday - one struggling with acute loneliness which, apart from the pain of empathy, reminded me of my own situation somewhat. Two other wonderful friends who have had 20 years of struggle - can't say more here - but lovely to have lunch with them and hang out for the afternoon. If I had 3 'wishes' I think they would get one of them.

Church was a struggle - felt hard-hearted, unreceptive, remote from God.

Wondering whether I am still recovering from Thursdays session and the dip into my childhood? I don't know....

If you are inclined to pray please say one for me. Thanks.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Coming up this weekend...

... is very little, except free time PLANNED, to be with my son.

Chilled time in the mornings. Getting up s l o w l y !!

To the park: to kick a ball, to cycle, run, laugh, celebrate goals scored and saves made. New distances travelled in the bike. Seeing friends. Reading. Homework. Birthdays. Church.

I love being a dad. Trying to let Ned make more decisions for himself. Learning ... gradually... both of us. Sometimes he doesn't want to think, just let me choose... what to wear... to eat... etc.

If Ned can get used to making choices now in the little things, making mistakes and working through them, then he should be better equipped for the bigger stuff that comes with adolescence.

Praying for him cos I find it scary. Ned, I think, is cool !!

Have a great weekend, whatever you do.

Love is a drug - be a dealer then an addict :o)

Thursday, June 01, 2006

"Underneath the arches...

...I dream my dreams away"

Summons up memories for me - particularly of John Le Carre's "A Perfect Spy". Bud Flanagan tugging at the heart strings, leading us to remember days gone by?

Pip took us on an amazing journey this morning. We heard and told each others stories from around the time we were 7 years old.

Such a privilege to hear tales from Chile to Nigeria, Southall to Harrow. All so different. All so unique and special. Many memories shared. It was an emotional time.

I realise now that I have, in a way, read a chapter of autobiographies that will never be written - yet could be bestsellers... for they are... memories... real, not fiction. Today was, in a small way, life-changing.

Highbury Match Report

Received today from the sponsors - I was in the white team:

Barc1ays Highbury experience

Introduced by Bob Wilson as “two of the most terrifying team managers” Sammy Nelson (blue) & Charlie George (white) led their teams into one of the last ever football battles to be played at Highbury.

With the Highbury pitch calling, the teams ran out to begin their warm ups. While the whites began their well organised drills (by luck of the draw) a more youthful looking blue side passed the ball around the park.

This youthful strength showed in the fourth minute with the blue’s centre forward pouncing on a defensive error by the whites to chalk up the first goal of the game.

The lead was extended shortly after as Danny Houghton rounded the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net.

The whites struck back with some intricate passing across the middle of the park but couldn’t make it count in the final third.

The blues pressed hard, using the wings well, Shaun el-Alwal going down the right and putting in a cross for Gary Edwards to nod home, only for the effort to be ruled offside.

The whites fought on and some nice passing put the centre forward (Me!) through one on one with the keeper. ‘Almunia’ in goal had a ‘Lehman esc’ rush of blood to the head, raced out and brought the striker down outside the box.

The ref showed a football sense that some UEFA officials could learn from and didn’t send the keeper from the pitch. John Fisher stepped up to take the subsequent free kick and a great effort was only denied by the cross bar.

A third goal from the blues came soon after as el-Alwal broke once again beating his man and delivering a ball to the far post for Houghton to score his second.

The second half picked up where the first ended, with the blues once again pressing and several chances went begging.

Daniel Haigh showed some fine individual skill for the whites beating a number of players on several occasions but the team couldn’t convert any of their chances.

Searching for a goal left the team in white short at the back and a fine back, heel from Sutton, put King in space to thunder in a forth for the Blues.

Some determined defending, confident keeping and the woodwork kept the score line to 4-0 at full time

Match two report omitted - blues won on penalties.

POST MATCH interviews

Commenting on his blue team’s two match win Sammy Nelson said “I only had them for five minutes imagine what I could have done if I’d had ten!”


“Played two, lost two, that’s why I never went into management” was Charlie George’s response to the performance of his side.