Have blogged less the worse I've been feeling, and since 29/11 (below) things have been really up and down.
I seem to be more prone than ever to feeling pain for those close to me. A friend and colleague has just had a roller coaster time - it's not my place to say why at the moment - and it rocked my world last week. Another friend and colleague had similar, grim news on the very same day, and yet another friend has fallen foul of temptation and his marriage is hanging together by a thread. See him this week to talk over...
I started the morning with prayer, reflecting that the very fact of being alive today means that whatever purpose I am here for remains incomplete. There is something I am meant to do today that will make a difference. I hope it will be to bring light into someone's darkness.
I feel I have become isolated of late. I have been so busy with parenting, work, Trusts, meetings, study and exams as to have neglected to be out with and meeting new people. Gonna change that. Had a 'blind' coffee with a friend of a friend on Saturday, who herself has had a tough time. Bit scary but good to get on and do it and it was fun. The Greenbelt thing last weekend would have been great but didn't feel up to it. Still fighting off this cold - damn tickly cough that has me choking and wretching sometimes.
On the up side, recently I got to spend time with a dear friend who (again) has been struggling with various issues. We prayed together and the feedback is of healing - physical and emotional/pyschological. God is good.
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1 comment:
Hi Dan
Just tell me: where are you living?
There is lots of "I have a load of thoughts whizzing around my head" in your blogs.
We, and you, can't be doing with what's happening in our heads. We do not generate our thoughts. Do not listen to them as if they come from you.
Where we live is in our words, our deeds and our actions. What distinguishes you from anyone else is not what goes around in your head but what you do and say.
I just have a sense that what spins around your head holds you back and depresses your natural self. Don't listen to it pal. It is not from Him.
Another thing I notice (don't take this the wrong way please) is that you tend to surround yourself with those who also suffer, resulting in the: "I seem to be more prone than ever to feeling pain for those close to me". Being in the company of like minded people is a downward spiral. Surround yourself with those who inspire. Do not take on the mantle of those who don't. It is a dangerous place for you. It is not Christian to empathise or sympathise (you were angry about this too) without providing action. If you cannot act that you should not listen without sending a person to a place where action can be taken. It's a bit like listening to gossip. Stamp it out or take it to the source.
You are veering towards a common phenomenom which is "analysis paralysis". I plain english, you are getting too stuck up your own arsehole.
I think this is what you might call a level 5 communication.
Greetings
Richard
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