Disappointments

Been having some deep, deep feelings lately about disappointments in my life. Some of them recent, some from years ago, some (I think) from before I can actually remember. Unlocking them is painful.

Counselling is often (for me) about taking me to where I least want to go, because it can be so painful to take the lid off the can. But... no pain, no gain - so true.

I am trying not to stay on the periphery of my feelings but stay with them and understand them. I am grateful for those who help me in the process, and on the journey, although it can feel like, at best, I am squirming on the end of a hook or, at worst, being machine gunned!

I have been introduced to the thought that we should grieve for that which has disappointed us in life. Some of this is obvious, like the hurt and unfulfilled expectations of a broken relationship / marriage. Other areas are less obvious....

I don't think this means moping around feeling sorry for ourselves, or inventing disappointments when, as we well know, shit happens, but it is, I believe, helpful to acknowledge and understand feelings rather than let them fester and become 'cancerous' and eat away at us. To coin another phrase: better out than in!

I hope you have good friends. People you can really be honest with and share your deepest stuff. Friends that will listen and not try to answer lifes riddles for you, but just be with you and love you.

I have some and I feel so blessed not to be on the journey alone x