Lots of blokes are charming, right? We don't charm one another of course (!) but there are a few of us who can sure charm the ladies. That's not to say we are jumping into bed with a different babe every weekend, that's a separate kind of animal whose powers are beyond me. But we know how to chat to a lady and make her feel good about herself. We are really interested in her and give her some signals that indicate that.
I've been wondering what the root of charm is?
I am wondering whether charm can be harm?
Having been a single, married, separated, divorced, single guy ... :o(
...I am rethinking my boundaries. I think that I, me, myself (and probably some of you guys in the past) have used charm to harm, and here's how….
We want to be liked. We want to be loved. We also want to know that we (still) have the charisma… the persuasion… the technique… to make a girl interested in us. Why? Because we can. It makes us feel good about ourselves. With me so far?
How many of us, every now and then, are mentally digging an escape tunnel out of our marriages and thinking, mate, you've still got it! And even if you haven't, or never had it, you still dig, right?
So, we are our boundaries guys? Have you used charm that may have harmed?
Do you still? And ... who are we harming? Talk to me - post a thought....
As for me, I am guilty of all of the above. I've wanted to connect in intimate relationships but have pinged back to my place of mistrust a number of times. So maybe my motives were genuine, maybe not, it doesn't negate the fact that I may have drawn women into the inferrence or 'promise' of relationship and then withdrawn. Therein lies the harm. Let's be carefull out there.
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Just a quick note to share the example God gave me of this 'charm' or 'pulling-power' or whatever you want to call it.
[Warning - Corny Reading Material Follows]
A few years ago I felt really strongly for a girl, who was showing similar signs back. Anyway this progressed for a month or so, getting more one on one. Then one day she ended it, and obviously I was gutted.
A few months after this, there was a different girl, and a similar thing happened. Only this time I realised I was leading her on. Obviously I had to end it, but she felt just as gutted as I had the time before.
Obviously I was devistated with myself, I'd put someone through what I'd thought no one should have to go through.
The moral then - maybe not to lead people on? That's not always easy, you don't always know if you are or not until you've tried for a while. What (I hope) God's taught me by this is not to force relationships, and (as Tom was saying) to be myself.
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