Well, I have been reading a mate's blog for a while now (AliC) and occasionally posting some tongue in cheek comments when it occurred that it was unfair to be taking a pop at him when he was prepared to be vulnerable on-line and I wasn't.
Ali has the kids and youth stuff covered - that's his job - so I've pinched his name format to create a canvas for my thoughts on being a bloke.
I've been a male for all of my 40 years, but think I probably only became an adult about 5 years ago. Have a had a roller-coaster / soap opera journey in many ways but then, hey, haven't we all? I know I've got stacks of issues and have been undertaking some counselling this year to think them through - making the unconscious conscious. It's been a fascinating time. Thinking about my adoption, how I was subsequently parented, marriage, divorce, ANGER!, fathering, relationships, insecurity, significance and so on.
I wonder where men get their support? How do you work stuff out? Arrive at a decision? React under pressure? Are you aware of what has moulded you and whether it's positive or negative? What are the consequences of your actions on your partner, children, colleagues etc?
I really want to work these things out in my life, but find that so many guys are happy to go it alone - zipped into straight jackets of silent denial..... True/False?
So.... that's my starter for 10 - thanks for reading - feel free to comment. Dan
Who am I?
- Dan
- Worked in Banking and Credit Management. Spent some time in the Music business. Currently a Development Manager for the YMCA - I build Housing Projects for the homeless and have converted a dilapidated pub into a youth centre. Best job ever! Was a house-husband for two years while also on the staff of my church. I'm a single parent with a wonderful son who is 9. I love being a Dad and run Dads + Lads courses, plus lead a weekly lunch time gathering for men. I became a Christian aged 16 - Jesus has lifted me out of the pit on more than one occasion! Though my feet are on the rock I stumble on!
2 comments:
Bit of both, Tom, but primarily an exploration of manhood. At least I know there's someone out there! Hoping to learn from you guys. Dan
Hey mate, nice one! On the true or false thing - for me it is false - I do not stay tight lipped! However, I think it depends on whether we as men are in relationship with other men who accept us as we are - faults and all, or whether there are "expectations" spoken or otherwise that mean I don't feel I can fully be myself.
I have a mate, not at St Pauls who knows me very well, doesn't demand or expect anything, doesn't care what I did or didn't do this week we just play golf and chat . . . and, great first post by the way!
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