Indeed it was a cracking weekend - work, rest and play!
Enjoying the World Cup - job done by England last night to win the group undefeated. Plenty of folks bemoaning that, which I don't understand. I think we have played ok - the standard of the lesser teams is certainly improving, and they seem to have less fear than in past tournaments. The aim of many teams, ours too, used to be secure a draw, then another, and hope to snatch a victory to qualify. Therefore the football in Germany has been much more open I think.
Pleased to share some of my story twice in church on Sunday - haven't had a backlash personally or felt insecure about doing it. People seemed receptive to the service with a couple in tears over my bit - seemed to touch a nerve and I will try to follow up with them. I did get a few hugs too, one from a bear of a man who is 6' 6" - felt in danger for my life! Nonetheless a touching and surprising moment in public.
I do feel called to use my past experiences to be real like that and hopefully to open a window for others to receive God's love and healing - goodness knows I need it!
P.S. wanna check out the England v Paraguay event we ran @ St Paul's? See http://www.christiansinsport.org.uk/
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Zippin' up my boots...
... going back to my roots (Odyssey - circa 1979?) in case you wondered why I am quoting a pyschologist below and talking about discovering who I am! See my last two posts.
My first year was thus: given up for adoption at 8 weeks. In a foster home. In another foster home. Adopted at 8 months.
My son said to me at the weekend "so Dad, you were an orphan." I never called myself that before. We talked and I was able to tell him that I now know who my birth mum is and that he has met her.
"Oh" he said!
Thanks J for bringing me into the world - I am truly thankful :o)
My life isn't big news in the global village in which we live, but it's important to me! And to my God. I will saying a little about my story this Sunday in church for Father's Day. Putting together some car chase DVD action for the big screens and base-busting tunes to back that up. There'll be a couple of motorbikes on stage too! No stereotyping here!!!!!!
So, bring on the weekend... football, breakfast with a friend, beers with a mate, landscape gardening, Hanwell carnival and some sun-baked chillin' too I hope. Love ya.
My first year was thus: given up for adoption at 8 weeks. In a foster home. In another foster home. Adopted at 8 months.
My son said to me at the weekend "so Dad, you were an orphan." I never called myself that before. We talked and I was able to tell him that I now know who my birth mum is and that he has met her.
"Oh" he said!
Thanks J for bringing me into the world - I am truly thankful :o)
My life isn't big news in the global village in which we live, but it's important to me! And to my God. I will saying a little about my story this Sunday in church for Father's Day. Putting together some car chase DVD action for the big screens and base-busting tunes to back that up. There'll be a couple of motorbikes on stage too! No stereotyping here!!!!!!
So, bring on the weekend... football, breakfast with a friend, beers with a mate, landscape gardening, Hanwell carnival and some sun-baked chillin' too I hope. Love ya.
Stage 1
ER1KS0N'S 8 stages of life - his theory states that the needs of the psyche (mind) must be met or imbalance will occur. The basic pycychological needs during the 8 stages are:
In early infancy we learn trust or mistrust. We either gain a balance between trust and the risk of being let down, or are suspicious, mustrustful and unable to relate fully to others.
Babies have one way of communicating - they cry - for food (hunger), attention (love / security / bonding) or in pain (relief / comfort).
- Acceptance and Accomplishment
In early infancy we learn trust or mistrust. We either gain a balance between trust and the risk of being let down, or are suspicious, mustrustful and unable to relate fully to others.
Babies have one way of communicating - they cry - for food (hunger), attention (love / security / bonding) or in pain (relief / comfort).
The important event in the birth to one year old stage is feeding.
According to Erikson, an infant will develop a sense of trust only if the parent or care-giver is responsive and consistent with the basic needs being met. The need for care and food must be met with comforting regularity. The infant must first form a trusting relationship with the parent or caregiver, otherwise a sense of mistrust will develop.
Elements for a positive outcome:
- The infant's need for care, familiarity, comfort and nourishment are met.
- Parental consistency and responsiveness is essential for trust to develop.
Elements for a negative outcome:
- Babies who are not securely attached to their mothers are less cooperative and more aggressive in their interactions with their mothers.
- As they grow older, they become less competent and sympathetic with peers. They also explore their environment with less enthusiasm and persistence.
Examples: Babies will begin to understand that objects and people exist even when they cannot see them. This is where trust becomes important.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Up, up and away
Well, I am pleased to say that the depression experienced last week was temporary and lifted over the weekend. I feel fine again now. Strange that an anniversary that has barely registered with me over so many years affected me so?
I guess it is related to the counselling work I am undertaking and not only thinking but feeling much more about how I am with 'stuff' and how it affects me.
I am developing a greated perception not only of who I was (how my behaviour was defined by mistrust, suspicion, an inability to receive love and an uncanny knack of rejecting love), but also who I AM.
Some don't understand at all that I was ignorant of my emotions. It has left me open to accusations which haven't been pleasant.
Not out of the woods yet - still a long way to travel on this journey - but I'm sure that I would rather be on this path than any other. Complete healing may be far away, but that's where I'm headed :o)
I guess it is related to the counselling work I am undertaking and not only thinking but feeling much more about how I am with 'stuff' and how it affects me.
I am developing a greated perception not only of who I was (how my behaviour was defined by mistrust, suspicion, an inability to receive love and an uncanny knack of rejecting love), but also who I AM.
Some don't understand at all that I was ignorant of my emotions. It has left me open to accusations which haven't been pleasant.
Not out of the woods yet - still a long way to travel on this journey - but I'm sure that I would rather be on this path than any other. Complete healing may be far away, but that's where I'm headed :o)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Heart of kindness
Was out of the office yesterday at a Dads + Lads conference. In the afternoon I had been asked to present two workshops highlighting my program and how it runs.
I introduced myself, part of which was to state my aim as a parent - to reach my sons heart.
Can you imagine my pride and pleasure when last week Ned came home with a school certificate for outstanding achievement, awarded for "the kindness he always shows to others" :o)
I introduced myself, part of which was to state my aim as a parent - to reach my sons heart.
Can you imagine my pride and pleasure when last week Ned came home with a school certificate for outstanding achievement, awarded for "the kindness he always shows to others" :o)
Friday, June 09, 2006
Closing remarks...
... as the week ends... Been a difficult one emotionally - been in a pit for reasons explored beneath, (Out of sorts? + Jury still out), but still not fully discerned.
Feeling on the up now, especially going into the weekend: football and 3 Peaks reunion tonight (see below).
England's World Cup starts tomorrow. Come on England!
Sunday - receiving my graduation certificate and then to the pub for lunch with my course mates and their families.
Ned home too and looking forward to referee-ing his friends 8th birthday football party. Hopefully with now sending offs this time!!
Moreover, I have had many encouraging comments this week from you guys.
For you, and others, those who prayed for me - thanks. I really appreciate it.
Hope it wasn't too excruciating to read of my struggles. If you don't experience that yourself - thank God! If you do, and could relate, hope you were reminded you're not alone. Love ya. xox
Feeling on the up now, especially going into the weekend: football and 3 Peaks reunion tonight (see below).
England's World Cup starts tomorrow. Come on England!
Sunday - receiving my graduation certificate and then to the pub for lunch with my course mates and their families.
Ned home too and looking forward to referee-ing his friends 8th birthday football party. Hopefully with now sending offs this time!!
Moreover, I have had many encouraging comments this week from you guys.
For you, and others, those who prayed for me - thanks. I really appreciate it.
Hope it wasn't too excruciating to read of my struggles. If you don't experience that yourself - thank God! If you do, and could relate, hope you were reminded you're not alone. Love ya. xox
3 Peaks - first anniversary
A year ago this weekend a group of 9 mates and I undertook the Three Peaks Challenge - to climb Ben Nevis, Scarfell Pike & Snowdon in 24 hours or under - supported by 2 guys who drove / cooked for us.
The reason? In 2004 we shared a journey through cancer with a very special lad. Ed, aged 19, died on 22nd January 2005.
We wanted to do something for teenagers who suffer in this way. We aimed to raise £10,000 for the Teenage Cancer Trust - we raised £15,000 - completing the task on 23 hours, 17 minutes.
Tonight we will be celebrating the pleasure, the pain and the comraderie of the Challenge with a curry, and raising a glass of beer in fond memory of our friend, Ed - missed but not forgotten.
You can check out the highs and lows of our 3 peaks by clicking here:
Video: http://s117403556.websitehome.co.uk/Lists/Announcements/DispForm.aspx?ID=12
Photos: http://s117403556.websitehome.co.uk/3%20Peaks%20Challenge/Forms/AllItems.aspx
You can spot me sporting shades, a fetching stubble, and (usually) a wide-brimmed hat, or a woolly one with my IQ on it !! :o)
England v Brasil :o)
It is just before the England v Brasil match.
Ronaldinho goes into the Brasilian changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're shite and we can't be bothered.
"Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself - you lads go down the bierkeller."
So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself, and the rest of the Brasilian team go off for a few steins.
After a couple they wonder how the game is going, so they ask mine host to check teletext. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brasil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!
Anyway, a few lagers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on."
They put teletext back on."Result from the Stadium 'Brasil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 mins) - England 1 (Lampard 89 mins)."
They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against England!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands weeping inconsolably. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be loco, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, no, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 72 minutes."
Ronaldinho goes into the Brasilian changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're shite and we can't be bothered.
"Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself - you lads go down the bierkeller."
So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself, and the rest of the Brasilian team go off for a few steins.
After a couple they wonder how the game is going, so they ask mine host to check teletext. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brasil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!
Anyway, a few lagers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on."
They put teletext back on."Result from the Stadium 'Brasil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 mins) - England 1 (Lampard 89 mins)."
They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against England!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands weeping inconsolably. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be loco, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, no, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 72 minutes."
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Jury still out
Feeling crap again today and still haven't put a finger on why. My 10 year anniversary would have been on Thursday and, while I don't think that's the main thing, it may be contributing?
Have been apart (and now divorced) longer than we were together, but who knows how these things work? I know I don't have any yearning at all to go back into that relationship, which didn't benefit me a great deal (!!!) but, having mentioned loneliness yesterday, guess that I am feeling bereft of a soul mate - on my own now 5 years. :o(
However, having a confusing time thinking about a lady with whom I was friends a couple of years ago - a truly wonderful woman. She was really keen on me but I couldn't reciprocate, for all sorts of simple and complicated reasons. She is now in another relationship and likely to move country to be with and marry her beloved. Genuinely delighted for her, but can't help feeling regret that a cracking gal may have passed me over because I was too emotionally f*#ked up to recognise her worth and pursue her.
Have told people today that have asked how I am that "I am out of sorts" which, bless them, is followed up by a question concerning my health and, when I say that isn't it that, the conversation flounders somewhat! Interesting.
Honesty? Trying to be honest but wonder if I have now said more here than I should? Other days I don't care so much, but vulnerable today. Bugger.
Have been apart (and now divorced) longer than we were together, but who knows how these things work? I know I don't have any yearning at all to go back into that relationship, which didn't benefit me a great deal (!!!) but, having mentioned loneliness yesterday, guess that I am feeling bereft of a soul mate - on my own now 5 years. :o(
However, having a confusing time thinking about a lady with whom I was friends a couple of years ago - a truly wonderful woman. She was really keen on me but I couldn't reciprocate, for all sorts of simple and complicated reasons. She is now in another relationship and likely to move country to be with and marry her beloved. Genuinely delighted for her, but can't help feeling regret that a cracking gal may have passed me over because I was too emotionally f*#ked up to recognise her worth and pursue her.
Have told people today that have asked how I am that "I am out of sorts" which, bless them, is followed up by a question concerning my health and, when I say that isn't it that, the conversation flounders somewhat! Interesting.
Honesty? Trying to be honest but wonder if I have now said more here than I should? Other days I don't care so much, but vulnerable today. Bugger.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Out of sorts?
The weekend lived up to its billing and I had a good time with Ned. Did everything except cycle, though we did walk to the canal to feed the ducks instead, and got caught in a shower!
However, I find myself today quite out of sorts, and I'm not sure why?
Saw various friends yesterday - one struggling with acute loneliness which, apart from the pain of empathy, reminded me of my own situation somewhat. Two other wonderful friends who have had 20 years of struggle - can't say more here - but lovely to have lunch with them and hang out for the afternoon. If I had 3 'wishes' I think they would get one of them.
Church was a struggle - felt hard-hearted, unreceptive, remote from God.
Wondering whether I am still recovering from Thursdays session and the dip into my childhood? I don't know....
If you are inclined to pray please say one for me. Thanks.
However, I find myself today quite out of sorts, and I'm not sure why?
Saw various friends yesterday - one struggling with acute loneliness which, apart from the pain of empathy, reminded me of my own situation somewhat. Two other wonderful friends who have had 20 years of struggle - can't say more here - but lovely to have lunch with them and hang out for the afternoon. If I had 3 'wishes' I think they would get one of them.
Church was a struggle - felt hard-hearted, unreceptive, remote from God.
Wondering whether I am still recovering from Thursdays session and the dip into my childhood? I don't know....
If you are inclined to pray please say one for me. Thanks.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Coming up this weekend...
... is very little, except free time PLANNED, to be with my son.
Chilled time in the mornings. Getting up s l o w l y !!
To the park: to kick a ball, to cycle, run, laugh, celebrate goals scored and saves made. New distances travelled in the bike. Seeing friends. Reading. Homework. Birthdays. Church.
I love being a dad. Trying to let Ned make more decisions for himself. Learning ... gradually... both of us. Sometimes he doesn't want to think, just let me choose... what to wear... to eat... etc.
If Ned can get used to making choices now in the little things, making mistakes and working through them, then he should be better equipped for the bigger stuff that comes with adolescence.
Praying for him cos I find it scary. Ned, I think, is cool !!
Have a great weekend, whatever you do.
Love is a drug - be a dealer then an addict :o)
Chilled time in the mornings. Getting up s l o w l y !!
To the park: to kick a ball, to cycle, run, laugh, celebrate goals scored and saves made. New distances travelled in the bike. Seeing friends. Reading. Homework. Birthdays. Church.
I love being a dad. Trying to let Ned make more decisions for himself. Learning ... gradually... both of us. Sometimes he doesn't want to think, just let me choose... what to wear... to eat... etc.
If Ned can get used to making choices now in the little things, making mistakes and working through them, then he should be better equipped for the bigger stuff that comes with adolescence.
Praying for him cos I find it scary. Ned, I think, is cool !!
Have a great weekend, whatever you do.
Love is a drug - be a dealer then an addict :o)
Thursday, June 01, 2006
"Underneath the arches...
...I dream my dreams away"
Summons up memories for me - particularly of John Le Carre's "A Perfect Spy". Bud Flanagan tugging at the heart strings, leading us to remember days gone by?
Pip took us on an amazing journey this morning. We heard and told each others stories from around the time we were 7 years old.
Such a privilege to hear tales from Chile to Nigeria, Southall to Harrow. All so different. All so unique and special. Many memories shared. It was an emotional time.
I realise now that I have, in a way, read a chapter of autobiographies that will never be written - yet could be bestsellers... for they are... memories... real, not fiction. Today was, in a small way, life-changing.
Summons up memories for me - particularly of John Le Carre's "A Perfect Spy". Bud Flanagan tugging at the heart strings, leading us to remember days gone by?
Pip took us on an amazing journey this morning. We heard and told each others stories from around the time we were 7 years old.
Such a privilege to hear tales from Chile to Nigeria, Southall to Harrow. All so different. All so unique and special. Many memories shared. It was an emotional time.
I realise now that I have, in a way, read a chapter of autobiographies that will never be written - yet could be bestsellers... for they are... memories... real, not fiction. Today was, in a small way, life-changing.
Highbury Match Report
Received today from the sponsors - I was in the white team:
Barc1ays Highbury experience
Introduced by Bob Wilson as “two of the most terrifying team managers” Sammy Nelson (blue) & Charlie George (white) led their teams into one of the last ever football battles to be played at Highbury.
With the Highbury pitch calling, the teams ran out to begin their warm ups. While the whites began their well organised drills (by luck of the draw) a more youthful looking blue side passed the ball around the park.
This youthful strength showed in the fourth minute with the blue’s centre forward pouncing on a defensive error by the whites to chalk up the first goal of the game.
The lead was extended shortly after as Danny Houghton rounded the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net.
The whites struck back with some intricate passing across the middle of the park but couldn’t make it count in the final third.
The blues pressed hard, using the wings well, Shaun el-Alwal going down the right and putting in a cross for Gary Edwards to nod home, only for the effort to be ruled offside.
The whites fought on and some nice passing put the centre forward (Me!) through one on one with the keeper. ‘Almunia’ in goal had a ‘Lehman esc’ rush of blood to the head, raced out and brought the striker down outside the box.
The ref showed a football sense that some UEFA officials could learn from and didn’t send the keeper from the pitch. John Fisher stepped up to take the subsequent free kick and a great effort was only denied by the cross bar.
A third goal from the blues came soon after as el-Alwal broke once again beating his man and delivering a ball to the far post for Houghton to score his second.
The second half picked up where the first ended, with the blues once again pressing and several chances went begging.
Daniel Haigh showed some fine individual skill for the whites beating a number of players on several occasions but the team couldn’t convert any of their chances.
Searching for a goal left the team in white short at the back and a fine back, heel from Sutton, put King in space to thunder in a forth for the Blues.
Some determined defending, confident keeping and the woodwork kept the score line to 4-0 at full time
Match two report omitted - blues won on penalties.
POST MATCH interviews
Commenting on his blue team’s two match win Sammy Nelson said “I only had them for five minutes imagine what I could have done if I’d had ten!”
“Played two, lost two, that’s why I never went into management” was Charlie George’s response to the performance of his side.
Barc1ays Highbury experience
Introduced by Bob Wilson as “two of the most terrifying team managers” Sammy Nelson (blue) & Charlie George (white) led their teams into one of the last ever football battles to be played at Highbury.
With the Highbury pitch calling, the teams ran out to begin their warm ups. While the whites began their well organised drills (by luck of the draw) a more youthful looking blue side passed the ball around the park.
This youthful strength showed in the fourth minute with the blue’s centre forward pouncing on a defensive error by the whites to chalk up the first goal of the game.
The lead was extended shortly after as Danny Houghton rounded the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net.
The whites struck back with some intricate passing across the middle of the park but couldn’t make it count in the final third.
The blues pressed hard, using the wings well, Shaun el-Alwal going down the right and putting in a cross for Gary Edwards to nod home, only for the effort to be ruled offside.
The whites fought on and some nice passing put the centre forward (Me!) through one on one with the keeper. ‘Almunia’ in goal had a ‘Lehman esc’ rush of blood to the head, raced out and brought the striker down outside the box.
The ref showed a football sense that some UEFA officials could learn from and didn’t send the keeper from the pitch. John Fisher stepped up to take the subsequent free kick and a great effort was only denied by the cross bar.
A third goal from the blues came soon after as el-Alwal broke once again beating his man and delivering a ball to the far post for Houghton to score his second.
The second half picked up where the first ended, with the blues once again pressing and several chances went begging.
Daniel Haigh showed some fine individual skill for the whites beating a number of players on several occasions but the team couldn’t convert any of their chances.
Searching for a goal left the team in white short at the back and a fine back, heel from Sutton, put King in space to thunder in a forth for the Blues.
Some determined defending, confident keeping and the woodwork kept the score line to 4-0 at full time
Match two report omitted - blues won on penalties.
POST MATCH interviews
Commenting on his blue team’s two match win Sammy Nelson said “I only had them for five minutes imagine what I could have done if I’d had ten!”
“Played two, lost two, that’s why I never went into management” was Charlie George’s response to the performance of his side.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
5 words, 2 songs, honesty and a carrot
One of my heroes is a man called Pip Wilson. Watched him strut his stuff in the Greenbelt venue 'Rolling Magazine' 20-25 years ago and now feel privileged to call him a friend.
We will be working together again tomorrow with a small group of people and I am looking forward to it. Have an idea to ask each person there to hold out their hands to receive two gifts. One will be a carrot which will be placed in their right palm. The other will not be given, nor even be there with us, nor will it ever be given. Can you guess what it is? Answers on a postcard, or just post a comment.....
Pip has a question he likes to ask - name five words to describe your life at the moment?
A couple of weeks ago we were having a beer and I selected these:
- pressing
- determined
- needy
- honest?
- still
Unfortunately, when Pip blogged them (http://www.pipwilson.com/) he omitted the question mark - unintentional I'm sure.
It changes the meaning considerably doesn't it. I was wondering if, when and how often I am really honest with myself. Still pondering that one...will get back to you.
Today:
- Honest?
- Tired
- Secure
- Unchallenged
- Uneasy
Meanwhile, Pip's friend Julie Benson has posed this one: (Hope I am not breaking any copyright here, Pip?) "What are two of the most beautiful songs you know?"
I think I will opt for: [1] Walk On - U2 [2] Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae (because it's current)
So, take your pick:
- five words
- two beautiful songs
- honest?
- what's the withheld present?
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
"Up the Arse"
I'm gonna get in trouble for that one, but it is used advisedly as I played at Arsenal (yes, Highbury, home of the Champions League Finalists) last week. This was due to an invite to a corporate event by Barclays who sponsor the Premiership.
There were two squads of 30 players who were split into smaller teams to each play a game of 40 minutes. The opposition manager was Irish international Sammy Nelson and mine the legendary Charlie George. Not that he looks like a footballer now, more like the hen-pecked husband from George and Mildred!
Anyway, the luck of the draw was that we had a team of total duffers and were stuffed 4-0 by a good side.
I didn't mind losing but it was disappointing that, with a minute to go, the Ref gave offside when I was 'sprinting' onto a through ball with only the keeper to beat and a consolation goal. The said goalie had fouled me in the same position in the first half but stayed on the pitch (ironic eh Arsenal fans!) - the subsequent freekick struck the crossbar which would have levelled the scores - ah, funny old game ...
The evening was hosted by Bob (near-post) Wilson and it was great to be there, great fun and a shame that there were only a smattering of supporters not 38,000 to witness it !!
There were two squads of 30 players who were split into smaller teams to each play a game of 40 minutes. The opposition manager was Irish international Sammy Nelson and mine the legendary Charlie George. Not that he looks like a footballer now, more like the hen-pecked husband from George and Mildred!
Anyway, the luck of the draw was that we had a team of total duffers and were stuffed 4-0 by a good side.
I didn't mind losing but it was disappointing that, with a minute to go, the Ref gave offside when I was 'sprinting' onto a through ball with only the keeper to beat and a consolation goal. The said goalie had fouled me in the same position in the first half but stayed on the pitch (ironic eh Arsenal fans!) - the subsequent freekick struck the crossbar which would have levelled the scores - ah, funny old game ...
The evening was hosted by Bob (near-post) Wilson and it was great to be there, great fun and a shame that there were only a smattering of supporters not 38,000 to witness it !!
Convergence (starts with blood, sweat and tears?)
Hi Blog-fans
Sorry I have been away sooooooo long - about a month - I'm bad, I know. Hope to get back into the groove. Want to share this though…..
Sometimes need time away on my own though. Sometimes thoughts too random too blog. Sometimes stuff too confused in my mind to articulate. Sometimes nothing to say. Sometimes my stuff seems too intimate to share - even with you! Would leave me too vulnerable.
Travelled 500 miles this weekend. Saturday in Sheffield for a youth house party planning day. Wakefield overnight - dinner with my birth-mum and lovely walks at Cannon Hall and around a lake Sunday morning. Drove through a village called Haigh! Good to see her and catch up; to coach her in the delicacies of Thai food and also to meet again my half-brother and his wife. Don't feel entirely connected to 'mum' but our friendship is growing and heading in the right direction I think - making memories is right! ;o)
From there to Nottingham to see friends of 25 years and their grown up (nearly) children. Wonderful to see how the kids are 'turning' out with plans, dreams, gap-year intentions, exam concerns, Uni places, long hair, grunting, smells and smiles. I hope I am as special to them as they are to me, but probably not!! I can live with that. Time when they sat with me and we read a story are long gone - if they chose to sit on me now I could do little about it!!
Alistair and Julie themselves still set the world alight in their own understated way (apart from being fab parents).
Viewed Julie's art and loved it. Daring. Personal. Layered. Revealing. Challenging. Just beginning….
It reminded me that there is a stage in life called Convergence when our talents, gifts, passions, efforts all come together and we find ourselves starting to do what we were always meant to do. This is not to deny the earlier periods of learning and output, but felt a privilege to see Julie at this stage, assuming I am right, but no doubt the best is to come…
I am looking forward to that day for myself, though wonder whether we ever stop stretching?
Similarly, Alistair is taking a PHD in Leadership, which I find inspiring, especially to hear that a man as bright and experienced in his field as he is still reviewing his thinking and application in order to grow.
A lowlight was watching one of the worst (but therefore funniest) sci-fi films ever - A0N FLUX - rented by the 'kids'! The film starts with the premise that in 400 years time the man running the planet is called Trevor - belief was suspended from there on and I never quite recovered !!
From Nottingham drove to Oxford to collect Ned - lovely to see him after a long weekend and home late last night. Good news on the door step - passed my diploma in Leadership and Theology - two and a half years of blood, sweat and tears and doing just enough to get through !!! Haven't passed much in my life - I prefer to 'do' - so delighted.
If ok with you, I will do is post some news retrospectively to fill you in and give me some time to remember what I've been doing !!
Thanks for reading. Love ya, Dan x
Sorry I have been away sooooooo long - about a month - I'm bad, I know. Hope to get back into the groove. Want to share this though…..
Sometimes need time away on my own though. Sometimes thoughts too random too blog. Sometimes stuff too confused in my mind to articulate. Sometimes nothing to say. Sometimes my stuff seems too intimate to share - even with you! Would leave me too vulnerable.
Travelled 500 miles this weekend. Saturday in Sheffield for a youth house party planning day. Wakefield overnight - dinner with my birth-mum and lovely walks at Cannon Hall and around a lake Sunday morning. Drove through a village called Haigh! Good to see her and catch up; to coach her in the delicacies of Thai food and also to meet again my half-brother and his wife. Don't feel entirely connected to 'mum' but our friendship is growing and heading in the right direction I think - making memories is right! ;o)
From there to Nottingham to see friends of 25 years and their grown up (nearly) children. Wonderful to see how the kids are 'turning' out with plans, dreams, gap-year intentions, exam concerns, Uni places, long hair, grunting, smells and smiles. I hope I am as special to them as they are to me, but probably not!! I can live with that. Time when they sat with me and we read a story are long gone - if they chose to sit on me now I could do little about it!!
Alistair and Julie themselves still set the world alight in their own understated way (apart from being fab parents).
Viewed Julie's art and loved it. Daring. Personal. Layered. Revealing. Challenging. Just beginning….
It reminded me that there is a stage in life called Convergence when our talents, gifts, passions, efforts all come together and we find ourselves starting to do what we were always meant to do. This is not to deny the earlier periods of learning and output, but felt a privilege to see Julie at this stage, assuming I am right, but no doubt the best is to come…
I am looking forward to that day for myself, though wonder whether we ever stop stretching?
Similarly, Alistair is taking a PHD in Leadership, which I find inspiring, especially to hear that a man as bright and experienced in his field as he is still reviewing his thinking and application in order to grow.
A lowlight was watching one of the worst (but therefore funniest) sci-fi films ever - A0N FLUX - rented by the 'kids'! The film starts with the premise that in 400 years time the man running the planet is called Trevor - belief was suspended from there on and I never quite recovered !!
From Nottingham drove to Oxford to collect Ned - lovely to see him after a long weekend and home late last night. Good news on the door step - passed my diploma in Leadership and Theology - two and a half years of blood, sweat and tears and doing just enough to get through !!! Haven't passed much in my life - I prefer to 'do' - so delighted.
If ok with you, I will do is post some news retrospectively to fill you in and give me some time to remember what I've been doing !!
Thanks for reading. Love ya, Dan x
Friday, April 28, 2006
World Cup - The 'Rules' and advice
Just received this from Man of the World, Steve; this post is sub-titled (by me) Misogynists of the World Cup Unite!!
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
LIST OF 'RULES'
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.
In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO N OT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
LIST OF 'RULES'
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.
In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO N OT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
How green is my valley....
How busy is my week! Another week of my life gone and my absence from Blog world has been noted.
Busy you say? Indeed, went to Manchester on Saturday afternoon after a very strange Friday night. Played footie and actually scored a couple of crackers (first for a while!) and came home to chill out in front of Have I got news for you, Mel & Griff and then Eric Morecombe - laughed lots.
Bath and bed by midnight, but feeling really ill - nothing particularly. Slept 3 lovely hours then woke for no reason and dozed for an hour and a half. So got up at 4.30 and started making music compilations for the journey North!
Just as well, leaving at midday, I forgot that the FA Cup semi-final was at Old Trafford and spent ages on the M6 with Chelsea motorists. Ignored the very long queue for the direct route on the M56, kept going North, eventually looped back South on the clear ring road - bizarre.
Anyway, Saturday's party - joint birthday do for Helen and Melissa - only knew one person there before 5pm that day but had a lot of fun meeting friends and family - almost all in fancy dress! Have never seen so many superheroes in one venue! The Incredibles and Buzz Lightyear won the prizes. Duff Man stole the show, closely followed be He-Man and She-La !!!!
Sunday lunch spent in glorious sunshine outside the Slug and Lettuce in Didsbury laughing at the toilet escapades of Harry P0tter's wand - you had to be there !!!
Spinning lots of plates at work - had meetings yesterday at the GLA building on the South Bank and at Brentford FC concerning the Olympics and, funnily enough, football - the latter with the Chaplain from Manchester United FC - check out http://www.kicklondon.org.uk/
Last night I was DJ at a YMCA Cultural Evening featuring sets as follows: Polish dance ‘Krakowiak’; South Indian Classical Dance ‘Bharatanatyam’; American Hip-hop; Spanish Salsa workshop; Punjabi Bhangra Mix; plus traditional food from various countries, an African clothes fashion show and an International Auction.
Have to admit this is not usually my bag (unless I'm in the country at the time then I will actively explore the culture) but the evening was fab. Organised by our International Volunteer from the Ukraine. Proceeds will sponsor children from one of our projects to visit Kiev.
Broken news - still feeling on the up after last week. Conversations since all positive. Looks like the study won't happen until the autumn though?
May Day - Gonna be busy again this Bank Holiday weekend with a wedding, seeing friends; more daredevil cycling from Ned (I hope!), and some time to chill too.
Can I leave you with a thought? Questions first.....
How green is my valley.
Busy you say? Indeed, went to Manchester on Saturday afternoon after a very strange Friday night. Played footie and actually scored a couple of crackers (first for a while!) and came home to chill out in front of Have I got news for you, Mel & Griff and then Eric Morecombe - laughed lots.
Bath and bed by midnight, but feeling really ill - nothing particularly. Slept 3 lovely hours then woke for no reason and dozed for an hour and a half. So got up at 4.30 and started making music compilations for the journey North!
Just as well, leaving at midday, I forgot that the FA Cup semi-final was at Old Trafford and spent ages on the M6 with Chelsea motorists. Ignored the very long queue for the direct route on the M56, kept going North, eventually looped back South on the clear ring road - bizarre.
Anyway, Saturday's party - joint birthday do for Helen and Melissa - only knew one person there before 5pm that day but had a lot of fun meeting friends and family - almost all in fancy dress! Have never seen so many superheroes in one venue! The Incredibles and Buzz Lightyear won the prizes. Duff Man stole the show, closely followed be He-Man and She-La !!!!
Sunday lunch spent in glorious sunshine outside the Slug and Lettuce in Didsbury laughing at the toilet escapades of Harry P0tter's wand - you had to be there !!!
Spinning lots of plates at work - had meetings yesterday at the GLA building on the South Bank and at Brentford FC concerning the Olympics and, funnily enough, football - the latter with the Chaplain from Manchester United FC - check out http://www.kicklondon.org.uk/
Last night I was DJ at a YMCA Cultural Evening featuring sets as follows: Polish dance ‘Krakowiak’; South Indian Classical Dance ‘Bharatanatyam’; American Hip-hop; Spanish Salsa workshop; Punjabi Bhangra Mix; plus traditional food from various countries, an African clothes fashion show and an International Auction.
Have to admit this is not usually my bag (unless I'm in the country at the time then I will actively explore the culture) but the evening was fab. Organised by our International Volunteer from the Ukraine. Proceeds will sponsor children from one of our projects to visit Kiev.
Broken news - still feeling on the up after last week. Conversations since all positive. Looks like the study won't happen until the autumn though?
May Day - Gonna be busy again this Bank Holiday weekend with a wedding, seeing friends; more daredevil cycling from Ned (I hope!), and some time to chill too.
Can I leave you with a thought? Questions first.....
- What do you hope for?
- Are you suffering in any way?
- Do you need to keep going with something?
"Rejoice in hopeI have a hope; personal experience that prayer works, and my life is relatively free of suffering (though requiring patience!). Hope that's not a gloat, but I must say...
be patient in suffering
persevere in prayer! ... Romans 12:12 from the New Testament
How green is my valley.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Breaking news...
Making enquiries at the moment about registering for a Certificate in Communication and Counselling skills, the course being an introduction to counselling and psychotherapy.
This is primarily about attaining skills with sufficient theory (to underpin) to give an understanding of the three broad streams of psychotherapy: humanistic, cognitive-behavioural and psychodynamic. Will tell you what that all means when I find out !!!!
This feels like the right direction for me following on from my Leadership and Theology course, the personal therapy work I have been doing, the pastoral work I already undertake and, above all, God's calling on my life to use my soap-opera past (!) for the benefit of others. This seems to be affirmed by those I respect too.
This isn't a career change, yet. Though it is possible that this could lead to formal training and a qualification, I am not sure whether it is probable. One step at a time, eh!
The long weekend was great - lots of work, rest and play (as predicted). Ned learning to ride his bike without stablisers was great fun and we had a great time over 6 days seeing lots of friends, finishing the garden pergola, chilling out, and quality time to remember and celebrate Easter.
Only downside is that having stopped work I seem to have come down with a cold or something so not 100%. However, seeing my old mucker Bazzer tonight for a yarn. Will be talking until the proverbial cows come home!! Level 5 all the way, no doubt.
This is primarily about attaining skills with sufficient theory (to underpin) to give an understanding of the three broad streams of psychotherapy: humanistic, cognitive-behavioural and psychodynamic. Will tell you what that all means when I find out !!!!
This feels like the right direction for me following on from my Leadership and Theology course, the personal therapy work I have been doing, the pastoral work I already undertake and, above all, God's calling on my life to use my soap-opera past (!) for the benefit of others. This seems to be affirmed by those I respect too.
This isn't a career change, yet. Though it is possible that this could lead to formal training and a qualification, I am not sure whether it is probable. One step at a time, eh!
The long weekend was great - lots of work, rest and play (as predicted). Ned learning to ride his bike without stablisers was great fun and we had a great time over 6 days seeing lots of friends, finishing the garden pergola, chilling out, and quality time to remember and celebrate Easter.
Only downside is that having stopped work I seem to have come down with a cold or something so not 100%. However, seeing my old mucker Bazzer tonight for a yarn. Will be talking until the proverbial cows come home!! Level 5 all the way, no doubt.
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